What the fuck, Japan. I’m getting sick of a lot of the things that are coming to our shores from afar, mainly due to just how fucking weird some of the products are. You know what gets my panties in a bunch, though?

http://apps.facebook.com/anime-gende-ccjiajb/take?q2fba=0&ftitle=1&tv2=mK%2FQbGQeEOKVwTWBKirGnzaFmU20aBS8YqDT&link=feed_publish_text&ref=nf

If you have a Facebook profile, then you know you can take quizzes for the hell of it. I was just browsing on the site when I looked at a particular quiz that asked me to differentiate between male and female anime characters, who are all famous for being as androgynous as the characters from Final Fantasy 13. Then again, you can’t fucking tell what’s a man or a woman unless it’s made blatantly obvious in anything from Japan, so bear with me.

It makes my brain melt when I think about how mind-boggling it is that something as simple as gender gets fucked up. In some anime shows (thank God), it’s really obvious as to who is a man, and who is a chick. Huge knockers or facial hair usually gives it away. In a majority of the other shows out there, however… god damn. Does this really reflect their lifestyles over there in Japan, or does it reflect their sexual taste in men and women? Do they like their men to look just like them, fit in the same clothing as them, and use the same douches as them? I’m no fucking social scientist, so I can’t tell you… unless you’re Sarah Palin and just make shit up anyway, then there’s your answer to this question!

I’d really hate to see the day when future American animators, wanting to rip off anime even further than they are now on their deviantART profiles, make all of their characters genderless so they don’t hurt their precious brains with the pressing dilemma of giving them a gender. Hey, why not just draw everyone the same way, that’ll block your creativity for sure!

Fuck me, man. This topic hurts my head.

Hey, this is Kenny Farino. I know I’m the horror dude, so what’s with the normal subject? Believe it or not, horror fanatics also have the ability of “Rant” in their “Black Magic” list, so of course you’re going to hear about things we don’t like every once in a while. With that said, something that has always been bothering me is the new trend in review shows on the internet, most notably ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com. Before you say anything, no, this isn’t an attack on the site or the main contributors. However, this is a rant about the many users of the site who utilize the Blog and Forum sections to have a crack at reviewing things.

Granted, while some reviewers are talented and good, like TheSock and ThatJewishGuy who both got featured on the main site, there is an endless slew of other people who strike me as… something else.

ThatDudeWithTheCheese, TheGirlWithThePogoStick… these aren’t real people, but they are examples for one of the huge trends: reviewers with no originality in names. Many of them grab a moniker similar to ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, and some of them also emulate his style of reviewing. It has come to a point where I ate my hair in frustration, because there were so many of them! It’s ridiculous! Reviewers, there is a vital thing you need to learn about: choose an original name. It can be very off-putting to new viewers who have seen TGWTG first, and venture into the forums to see other reviews. If they get the smallest whiff of unoriginality, which can be seen even in a name, then they will turn away and refuse to look. It’s annoying as hell. “What’s in a name?” A hell of a lot.

Stealing the style of other reviewers is also a very bad way to start, whether it is vehemently taking the piss out of something with long strews of bizarre curse words, ala James Rolfe’s endearing character The Angry Videogame Nerd, (COUGHIRATEGAMERCOUGH) or it’s reviewing old, bad movies, and riffing them the whole way through while screaming at the camera, ala the Nostalgia Critic. Get an original concept in there, people! Don’t take other people’s ideas, and copypaste them onto your subject! Review obscure videogames, review recipes, review something that interests you! It might get you the recognition you deserve!

Ripping people off will get you infamy.

Speaking of which, so many people also review the same thing ad nauseum. I can’t really say too much about anime reviewers since anime is such a giant, broad subject, but I have seen countless reviews of Death Note, Cowboy Bebop, and whathaveyou. It makes my eyes bleed with frustration. This trend happens with other people, again referencing the IrateGamer. The AVGN reviewed the NES and its games, including the Ninja Turtles, and the IrateGamer reviewed the same thing. In fact, he reviewed a lot of games the Nerd reviewed, and it has gained him infamy.

In other words, folks, BE ORIGINAL. Make an original concept, develop your own style, and come up with a name you can stick to that will distinguish you above the rest.

- Kenny Farino