Full review at http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/reviews/devil-may-cry/

Controls

Everyone is going to hate me for saying this, but as awesome as Devil May Cry is to play, the control scheme feels ASS BACKWARDS. Square shoots and Circle attacks with the Devil Arm, which is good, but then you have Triangle jump and X open doors? What the hell is up with that? The Triangle button isn’t a fucking Up Arrow, and even if there was an ‘Up’ button, games that require you to push ‘Up’ to jump suck. And having X open doors but do nothing else? X is the second most commonly used button on a Playstation controller, so why the hell was it demoted to just opening fucking doors?

The first two hours of playing this game with this controller layout was just PAIN… pure and unrelenting torture that made you think that the fucking control schema was some bastard child of Satan Himself. Devil May Cry my fucking ass, The Devil is crying because he’s laughing so hard, bringing misery to the masses WHILE BEING PAID BY THE PEOPLE HE’S TORTURING. Does the word “sadomasocapitalism” even exist? If not, I am putting dibs on it, patenting it, and getting paid a quarter for every time someone buys a game that brings only misery and pain. Shit, I could retire off of the Angry Video Game Nerd.

“HA HA! Benjamins!”

Even worse is the infamously ackward ‘Rail Shooter’ segments at the end of the game. You finally get the hang of the hack-and-slash controls to the point where you can defeat the later bosses with relative ease, but then, like running into a bad ex-girlfriend by mistake, you are reminded of the painful memories of yore. The rail shooter involves Dante turning into his ‘True Demon Form’ and fighting Mundus in the skies. Not only does Mundus throw everything at you except for the kitchen sink, but up is down, and down is up on the control stick. You are FORCED to replay that segment over and over again until you familiarize yourself with the ‘new’ controller layout, AND IT BLOWS.

Graphics

While the graphics are definately not up to par by today’s standards, back during the turn of the century the graphics in Devil May Cry were… good.

That’s it, just ‘good’. They were not horribly abysmal like some of the early PS2 titles, but they were definately not up to snuff with the smooth presentation of games like Final Fantasy X.

The textures were pretty rough in areas, but were very intricate in others. Prime example being a contrast between the sewer level and the library: The sewer was very bland, with nothing especially noteworthy in the wall textures of the rigidly square rooms, where as the Library had not only rows of books, but also curvature in its archetecture and layout, as well as more organic elements, like trees and roots breaking through the corner of the room. And when a library is more ‘organic’ than a sewer, you know you have problems. Also, the characters were rendered pretty roughly, and their textures (save for their faces) were pretty low-res. As sexy as Trish was supposed to appear, her figure was as curvy as a stop sign. However, the bosses like the Phantom were well done for the time period, and some of the effects were certainly impressive.

It’s pretty rough, but what do you expect on a 166MHz PS2 processor?

…I actually expect more impressive graphics like this:

Sound

When it comes to Devil May Cry’s sound, one thing pops into mind: Resident Evil? Yes, the music in Devil May Cry is very ‘Resident Evil-like’. I fucking wonder why… The music is very dark and brooding while you are castle exploring. Not exactly like Silent Hill, but it’s extremely moody with its deep droning melodies. However, during fights the music picks up into one of the many electronica battle arrangements. While unique depending on the type of fight, the music retains its ‘gothic’ overtone with the use of organ music and deep bass but is accompanied by frantic guitars and an impressive rhythm. But regardless of how it sounds, it is both epic and adrenaline pumping at the same time.

Voice acting is an obviously noticeable aspect to point out. A lot of people have a problem with the dialogue in the game, but that doesn’t have any bearing on the VOICES. I can’t believe how many people don’t realize that there is a difference. Regardless, the voice acting is pretty good in my opinion. The demons like Phantom have reverberating, deep, raspy voices, but the voices of Trish and Dante sounds wooden and relatively uninterested in their roles. Of course, if I had to read dialogue like below I wouldn’t be too anxious about any of it, either.

Story and Dialogue

I rarely give Story or Dialogue its own category but I feel like it will be warranted for this particular series, mostly because of the whole “LLLIIIIIIIIIGGGHHTT!!!” thing mentioned above.

Needless to say, in some spots the dialogue is not just ‘rough’, it’s a goddamn TRAIN WRECK. Some dialogue is sly and witty, while other times it is just down-right cheesy. Prime example being the “Devils Never Cry” speech that Dante gives Trish at the end of the game:

*Dante and Trish are trapped in the sewers with no way out as the castle is caving in. Trish begins to cry.*
Dante: “Trish… Devils never cry. These tears… Tears are a gift only humans have.
Trish: “Dante… it’s too late.”
Dante: “No Trish, It’s never too late. For we humans never give up.”
*A goddamn airplane falls into the sewer*
Dante: “Are you ready?”
Trish: “Yes!”
*Running to the airplane to escape*

… CAN YOU NOT PICTURE THIS AS THE DIALOGUE BETWEEN TWO KIDS ‘ACTING’ IN AN 8TH GRADE DRAMA CLASS? THE DIALOGUE WRITING IS JUST ABYSMAL. IT’S TOTAL B-MOVIE MATERIAL.

“Tears are a gift only humans have”? MOVE OVER SHAKESPEARE…

“It’s never too late. For we humans never give up”? I’VE HEARD BETTER MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES IN PORNOS. AND SINCE WHEN IS DANTE ‘HUMAN’? ISN’T HE HALF-DEMON? DOES THAT MEAN HE ONLY CRIES OUT OF ONLY ONE EYE? WHAT THE HELL?

“HA HA! Half-people!”

Full review at http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/reviews/devil-may-cry/