Gas, Grass, and Duck Ass
Trust me, the title will make more sense after you read the following:
I drove 200 miles to go see my brother and his wife, and take care of a few family issues that none of you need be concerned with. Anyways…
As for me, I never smoked weed, and never really felt a need to. And now I know I will NEVER do it again.
They are passing it around and they ask if I want some.
“Sure. If I’m gonna try it eventually, it might as well be around these three.”
I take a hit from the pipe, and I’m waiting for something to happen.
Nothing.
I take another hit. Nothing.
I take a total of 5 hits and finally I start feeling ‘buzzed’, like when you are a little drunk.
I’m thinking, “Okay, this isn’t bad…”
Then it gets stronger, faster. “This is interesting.”
Then things stop making sense and I can’t move. “Okay, that’s enough… Let’s stop now… This isn’t stopping… I don’t like this… I’M GOING TO DIE!”
So I start panicing. I’m shaking uncontrollably and I can’t think. Everyone is freaking out because I got “too high”. I didn’t know you could get “too high”.
I’m looking around the room and everything is a slow-motion blur, and (i’m not kidding) I see writing on the walls, like math and code like in the Matrix.
They are all force-feeding my chocolate to help absorb the chemicals in my system. I’m completely paralyzed, i can’t move, so i’m eating a fudge bar like a baby.
Then I throw up. I’m the only person in history who has thrown up over marijuana. Funnier, the chocolate made a perfect square on the floor.
That snaps me out of the trance and I feel more… ‘alive’. I start joking about it, saying “It’s actually a cool pattern. You should frame it on your wall” and “I should design tiles…”
I start laughing about…. ….. abouuuuuuuuuut…. …. aaaaaa …. what was I talking about again???
It was like that. It hit me again, and I couldn’t move anymore. So i was sitting on the couch, but it felt like I was sitting in a dark room and there was 100 TVs infront of me, all showing different crap at once. I was getting mixed pictures. I saw ducks with rabbit ears, dancing radios, all kinds of stupid stuff.
So they take me into the bedroom and lay me on the bed and I’m just wasting away. It felt like I was drowning.
I realize that when i start talking about something, I focus my thoughts, and it doesn’t feel as bad. So I start talking about ANYTHING that comes to mind: favorite cars, favorite movies, cartoons from my childhood.
I am not kidding, I started singing the theme song for DuckTales:
“DuckTales, whoo-hoo!”
I wish I had a video camera so I could watch myself. haha.
Anyways, 3 hours later, I am finally walking around, taking a cold shower, and going to bed.
I’m never doing that again. I literally felt like I was dying. No joke.
If my kids ever do marijuana, I’ll be ANGRY. Like, ‘Wrath of God’ angry.
So, how is your life?
6 Responses to “Gas, Grass, and Duck Ass”
L0L THATS FUCKED UP!
Hehehe its a learning experience
You got the ‘spins’.
I’ve gotten it a few times from smoking too much. I always end up puking and wanting to die as well. I get the spins REALLY easily if I’m drunk and then smoke.
5 hits? You definitely overdid it for your first time!
let me tell you about my first time smoking… it was fun, but i kept noticing a green tint everywhere (we were out side by the way) i didn’t pay much attention to it, but when i drove home and got out of my car the northern lights were lighting up the sky. ha ha, i thought i was hallucinating for a minute.
anyways, it sucks your first time smoking weed turned out to be like a bad acid trip. but i’ve had some shitty times smoking weed before, it happens.
dude, I read this while I was giving a midterm. I have never bit my cheek so hard from trying not to laugh.
“duck tales whu ooo oo!”
that was the funiest thing i read in a long time. thats why i don’t do weed mate.
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