Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness
So what did I do over my Christmas Holiday? Did I brave 300 miles of snow-capped passes in a Camaro? Did I open the front door of my family’s house and surprise my family with my unexpected arrival? Did I eat enough turkey to make me pass out at the dinner table? Did I get to force my family into a scavenger hunt of inane (or insane) riddles and force them to ‘find’ their gifts?
Nay. My holiday of holidays were spent with Gabe and Tycho of the enormously popular Penny Arcade comic strip, and with their help I:
- Had my house crushed by a walking 500 foot tall fruit juicer, aptly named ‘The Fruit Fucker’ because of the way it ‘extracts’ the juice.
- Killed at least 40 hobos with a lawn rake.
- Battled a cult of mimes that worshipped an octopus-headed God.
- Escaped from an asylum filled with enormous man-eating spiders.
- Fought a rich and famous safari-hunter whose greatest trophy are the enormous testicles of a rhinoceros.
- Killed more people, this time with a garden hoe.
- Burned down the coolest apartment complex in history with a burning pie.
- Was granted entry into an exclusive league of scientists and professors by battling my killer robot monkey against theirs.
No, seriously… Killing untold legions of hobos, mimes, clowns, the mentally ill, the wealthy, and orange-humping robots with lawn-and-garden tools was way better than hanging out with my extended family who never stop asking me “when are you getting married?” Sometimes I wish I could pack around a shovel or something…
Before someone takes my IP address to the nearest police station (or mental health institute) I need to clarify myself:
I’m talking about the Xbox Live and Playstation Network game “Penny Arcade Adventures: On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episodes 1 and 2”
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