Posts Tagged critic
28 April 2009
Everyone is going to hate me for saying this, but as awesome as Devil May Cry is to play, the control scheme feels ASS BACKWARDS. Square shoots and Circle attacks with the Devil Arm, which is good, but then you have Triangle jump and X open doors? What the hell is up with that? The Triangle button isn’t a fucking Up Arrow, and even if there was an ‘Up’ button, games that require you to push ‘Up’ to jump suck. And having X open doors but do nothing else? X is the second most commonly used button on a Playstation controller, so why the hell was it demoted to just opening fucking doors?
The first two hours of playing this game with this controller layout was just PAIN… pure and unrelenting torture that made you think that the fucking control schema was some bastard child of Satan Himself. Devil May Cry my fucking ass, The Devil is crying because he’s laughing so hard, bringing misery to the masses WHILE BEING PAID BY THE PEOPLE HE’S TORTURING. Does the word “sadomasocapitalism” even exist? If not, I am putting dibs on it, patenting it, and getting paid a quarter for every time someone buys a game that brings only misery and pain. Shit, I could retire off of the Angry Video Game Nerd.
Tags: action, critic, dante, devil may cry, dmc, playstation, review, sparda, trish, video game, virgil Filed under Video Games |
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03 March 2009
The premise of the game is that you are a virtually annonymous engineer, Isaac Clarke (named after science fiction writers Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke), of a space ship crew who has intercepted a distress call from an off-world mining station. You and your crew crash land in the docking bay of the mining station USG Ishimura, a “Planet Cracker”, only to find that it is derilict, save for a swarm of Necromorphs, which are probably the best-designed alien monstrosities since the original Alien design by H.R. Giger. And, like every other space shooter since Doom, it’s your job to survive long enough to find either safety, or a way off the infested outpost.
Tags: critic, dead, dead space, horror, isaac clark, pc, playstation, ps3, review, space, survival, survival horror, video game, xbox Filed under Video Games |
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06 January 2009
A game as painful to play as it is to look at The story is original (minus the cliche “hard-core marines killing demons to save the world” angle). The theme of going back through hellish-twists on time-periods within the city is pretty awesome in itself, and I like to monster designs, but the whole thing [...]
07 December 2008
CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO REVIEW Am I the only person alive who DID NOT think that this movie was ‘The Shit’? Anyways, before people flood my email boxes with hatemail (which can be directed to the following email address: FuckYourMotherInHell@cheshirecatstudios.com), let me explain my position: I LIKED the action sequences. High speed pursuits, explosions, [...]
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