Posts Tagged review

I spend most of my time on this site in either the Reviews section, or the Forum, so the Blog I set up for myself rarely sees any action. Here’s some of the latest reviews I neglected to post here, just incase someone actually reads this blog-thingy: February 24, 2010 – LaughingMan returns with a [...]

It will be hard to praise everything about Higurashi no Naku Koro ni without giving away too much of the plot, but I will try to keep this review relatively spoiler-free with the exception of some MILD SPOILERS involving character motivations that will be required to explain just how ingenious Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is.

I’m gonna strike while the iron is hot, and finally review a NEW game. I purchased Batman: Arkham Asylum last night at about 8pm-ish. I played it until about 5am I was so hooked. After a few hours of rest, I wrapped Arkham Asylum up. I will post my full review of this great game [...]

I’m a huge fan of the Devil May Cry video games (minus the horribly neutered Devil May Cry 2). Just before Devil May Cry 4 was released, I was likely at the point where I would have had a child-like obsession with anything stamped with the Devil May Cry logo: If there was a cereal, [...]

I did it… I broke down and saw Transformers 2 against my better judgment. Though I did not necessarily PAY to see Transformers 2 (my contribution in keeping this piece of shit from becoming “Biggest Grossing Movie of All Time”), and I was right in doing so. THIS. MOVIE. IS. ASS!! I am offended as [...]

For all of you who actually READ my blog, here is a pre-release copy of the latest in my Devil May Cry Series Review: Part 4: Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening Enjoy!

Devil May Cry was a smash hit. The reception of Dante’s first adventure was overwhelmingly positive, though not without a few complaints. Common complaints ranged from ‘the game was too hard’ to ‘the camera was horrible (I agree)’ to ‘Trish wasn’t playable’. Regardless, Devil May Cry was a critical and commercial success, and Dante had [...]

Everyone is going to hate me for saying this, but as awesome as Devil May Cry is to play, the control scheme feels ASS BACKWARDS. Square shoots and Circle attacks with the Devil Arm, which is good, but then you have Triangle jump and X open doors? What the hell is up with that? The Triangle button isn’t a fucking Up Arrow, and even if there was an ‘Up’ button, games that require you to push ‘Up’ to jump suck. And having X open doors but do nothing else? X is the second most commonly used button on a Playstation controller, so why the hell was it demoted to just opening fucking doors?

The first two hours of playing this game with this controller layout was just PAIN… pure and unrelenting torture that made you think that the fucking control schema was some bastard child of Satan Himself. Devil May Cry my fucking ass, The Devil is crying because he’s laughing so hard, bringing misery to the masses WHILE BEING PAID BY THE PEOPLE HE’S TORTURING. Does the word “sadomasocapitalism” even exist? If not, I am putting dibs on it, patenting it, and getting paid a quarter for every time someone buys a game that brings only misery and pain. Shit, I could retire off of the Angry Video Game Nerd.

The premise of the game is that you are a virtually annonymous engineer, Isaac Clarke (named after science fiction writers Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke), of a space ship crew who has intercepted a distress call from an off-world mining station. You and your crew crash land in the docking bay of the mining station USG Ishimura, a “Planet Cracker”, only to find that it is derilict, save for a swarm of Necromorphs, which are probably the best-designed alien monstrosities since the original Alien design by H.R. Giger. And, like every other space shooter since Doom, it’s your job to survive long enough to find either safety, or a way off the infested outpost.

The main story revolves around a couple of ill-fated lovers named Welkin Gunther and Alicia Melchiott. Both are drafted members of Squad 7, a militia in the Dutch-like country of Gallian. While Gunther’s father was a General in EWI (Europan War 1), his orphaned son, Welkin, is (shamefully) the stereo-typical Japanese hero: A pacifist who, both out of love for his friends and loyalty to his homeland, commandeers a machine to fight an evil empire. (Another reason I hate anime…)