Devil May Cry (PS2) Review
Everyone is going to hate me for saying this, but as awesome as Devil May Cry is to play, the control scheme feels ASS BACKWARDS. Square shoots and Circle attacks with the Devil Arm, which is good, but then you have Triangle jump and X open doors? What the hell is up with that? The Triangle button isn’t a fucking Up Arrow, and even if there was an ‘Up’ button, games that require you to push ‘Up’ to jump suck. And having X open doors but do nothing else? X is the second most commonly used button on a Playstation controller, so why the hell was it demoted to just opening fucking doors?
The first two hours of playing this game with this controller layout was just PAIN… pure and unrelenting torture that made you think that the fucking control schema was some bastard child of Satan Himself. Devil May Cry my fucking ass, The Devil is crying because he’s laughing so hard, bringing misery to the masses WHILE BEING PAID BY THE PEOPLE HE’S TORTURING. Does the word “sadomasocapitalism” even exist? If not, I am putting dibs on it, patenting it, and getting paid a quarter for every time someone buys a game that brings only misery and pain. Shit, I could retire off of the Angry Video Game Nerd.
