Transformers 2 Movie Sucks!
I did it… I broke down and saw Transformers 2 against my better judgment.
Though I did not necessarily PAY to see Transformers 2 (my contribution in keeping this piece of shit from becoming “Biggest Grossing Movie of All Time”), and I was right in doing so.
THIS. MOVIE. IS. ASS!!
I am offended as a movie-goer, as a guy who grew up with the Transformers, and as a human being in general.
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING?
Schia Lebeof, or whatever the fucker’s real name is, is officially on my “Hollywood Hitlist”. The entire fucking movie he is playing ‘treasure hunter’ (ala “The next Indiana Jones”, GOD FORBID) by teleporting all over the world fighting giant robots. Shit, couple this with Indiana Jones 4, and the fact that Spielburg produced Transformers 1, you can just tell that they are setting Shia up as “Son of Indiana Jones.”
Megan Fox is hot… and THAT’S IT. The fucking bitch can’t even ACT SCARED, SURPRISED, ANGRY, IN LOVE, OR ANYTHING! The only thing she is good at is bending over a motorcycle in Daisy Duke shorts. Shit, that scene was the setup for the entire movie:
THE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE ASS, BUT IT WILL BE A GOOD LOOKING ASS!
The special effects are off the hook. Very impressive and I give all the kudos and respect to the computer magicians who made it all possible. HOWEVER, could they not have made ALL THE DAMNED ROBOTS GRAY???!!! Shit, the only robots you can ever recognize are Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime because one is yellow and the other is red. When the robots are fighting, it looks like someone is catapulting huge balls of scrap metal through the fucking air! It’s an orgy of iron parts that would make Caligula go, “Dude, that’s kinda fucked up…”
And what’s up with the fucking college the kid goes to? Every person in that damned college is an ‘A-List supermodel’. Doesn’t matter if they are walk-ons, every one is off the cover of Vogue.
My last rant (for now) is the concept that the Government is somehow covering up the fact that there are Godzilla sized robots blowing up buildings, destroying cars and killing civilians.
WHAT???
That’s like the equivalent of at the end of Cloverfield Will Smith drives up in black suits and says: “Hey, y’all didn’t see nothin’. Buildings aren’t destroyed, people ain’t dead, and those fires you see are… well, they’re fires, but you think it’s normal.” Then he pulls out a neurolizer and zaps the entire populace of New York, and everyone goes along in their stupid little lives as though the video tapes and pictures of the giant mutant hamsters didn’t exist.
FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY, YOU OVERPAYED ($70mil??) OVER-HYPED, OVER-FX USING HACK!!
AND FUCK ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES WHO ARE HELPING MAKE THIS MOVIE ‘THE HIGHEST GROSSING MOVIE OF ALL TIME’.
Have a nice day.
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