Forum Home Reviews Videos Pictures Blogs Links About Contact Donate
back to top
Cheshire Cat Studios - Video Game and Movie Reviews
Become a Fan with Facebook Follow Cheshire Cat Studios on Twitter Stay Updated by Subscribing to Our RSS Feed

LaughingMan – CheshireCatStudios.com

LaughingMan Reviews and Cynical Humor
15 February 2009

Valkyria Chronicles – Review – Playstation 3

The main story revolves around a couple of ill-fated lovers named Welkin Gunther and Alicia Melchiott. Both are drafted members of Squad 7, a militia in the Dutch-like country of Gallian. While Gunther’s father was a General in EWI (Europan War 1), his orphaned son, Welkin, is (shamefully) the stereo-typical Japanese hero: A pacifist who, both out of love for his friends and loyalty to his homeland, commandeers a machine to fight an evil empire. (Another reason I hate anime…)

To be more honest about Welkin’s personality, he’s actually a ‘naturalist’ who is absolutely ENGROSSED by anything involving nature: Bugs, plants, manure (I seriously didn’t make that last one up…) However, he is also calm, cool and collected enough to earn the respect of his compatriots and fellow soldiers through his insane/ingenious plans at thwarting his enemies, proving he’s not just a rich son of a hero but also a capable leader.

On his way home during an evacuation of his Dutch-style village (windmills and all), he stops by a stream and begins to talk to the fish as he draws them swimming upstream and is captured by one of he head members of the town militia, Alicia Melchiott. (Alicia is also a baker… as in bread and cakes… and that comes into play later in the game as she tries (awkwardly) to get to his heart through his stomach.) Alicia captures Welkin, assuming that he being unfamiliar to her means that he is an Imperial Spy. However, to Welkin’s dumb luck, he is set free after Isara, the well-known and well-respected adopted daughter of General Gunther vouches for her brother.

The town is shortly invaded and it is up to Welkins and Alicia to mount a resistance long enough for the townspeople to escape. After a few battles, Isara informs Welkins that she has a tank (A FUCKING ‘TANK’?) in her barn (?!?!). Isara drives the tank with Welkins giving the orders, and with the help of the Town Watch led by Alicia, they hold off the invasion long enough for people to evacuate and for Welkins and Isara’s nanny to GIVE BIRTH INSIDE THE TANK.

Valkyria Chronicles - Tank
“Look at what we found in the barn! It was behind a pig!”

Shortly after your confrontation, all three members are drafted into the Gallian militia, all under the leadership of Lieutenant Welkin Gunthar. There you meet two hardasses: Rosie, the ex- bar ‘singer’ and current machine-gunner; and Largo, Tank Lancer (tank blower-upper), ex-farmer, EWI veteran and vegetable fanatic. Neither of them like you at first, as both are seasoned veterans who view you as a glory-hound. However, after a few wins, you’ll gain their trust.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL REVIEW

Leave a Reply

free blog themes / templates

Video Series

CCS Video Podcast
Epic Mickey: A History of Disney
Dante VS Rau
GameJams
Mockbuster Mockery
Skyward Sword: The History of Zelda
The Dirty Dogooders

Authors

LaughingMan
Zimes
Kenny Farino
ONOE
CineMax
RITOS
Chuckysin
View All

Reviews

Video Games
Movies
Music
Anime
Books
Comics
Television
View All

Popular Topics

NSFW! The Great 'Hilarious Demotivational Posters' Thread
GameJams VG Music Remix Podcast Request Thread
The Dark Knight Rises
Mortal Kombat: Rebirth Web Series
From Pages to Pictures

Movies that SUCK But We Love Them Anyways
Random Funny Pictures and Memes Thread
What I wanted. What I expected. What I got


Home
| Videos | Articles | Reviews | Blogs | Forum | Donate | About | Contact | Links | Terms and Privacy | Sitemap

©2008 Cheshire Cat Studios | All Rights Reserved

We are a community of reviewers and fanatics looking to bring you brutally honest, cynical, and comedic opinions, articles and reviews about all aspects of the entertainment industry. We write original, cynical, and comedic articles and reviews of video games, movies, music, anime, and other popular forms of entertainment. We also offer original entertaining, educational, and humorous video series from our members and affiliates.