Movies that SUCK but we love them anyways

Since (according to Zimes) I'm apparently some kind of cinema snob, I'm starting a new forum where we can make our 'guilty-pleasures' of the movie industry known.

*NOTE: THIS IS NOT ANY IMPLICATION THAT THESE MOVIES ARE ON ANYONE'S TOP 10 LISTS OF FAVORITE MOVIES. THESE ARE ONLY GUILTY PLEASURES.

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Mortal Kombat


Why it sucks:
It's a total ripoff of Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon" (as was the video game). It's another video game to movie title that people love to hate on. The CGI was cool back in the day, but looks like shit now. The acting is hammy at times, and the plot is incoherent at times.

Why I love it:
The fight scenes. Pure and simple, this is (as Gene Siskel put it): "A rock'em sock'em action flick" that has some of the most brutal fight choreography I have ever seen on film. I was also a massive Mortal Kombat nut back in the day, so it has some nostalgia for me. Despite what the Nostalgia Critic says JOHNNY CAGE IS FUNNY (and funnier than the Nostalgia Critic. 'Wahh wahhhhh'.) Scorpion steals the movie with that beaked demon-thing that comes out of his hand and the brutal fight between him and Cage. The "Mortal Kombat Theme" is still a sweet adrenaline-rush score. I fucking love this movie.

how about I just post my top 10 list so you guys can tell me how much it sucks

Howard the Duck is my ultimate guilty pleasure film. I admit that it's non-sensical, the relationship with Lea Thompson is creepy and the final third is boring and stupid, but the first two thirds actually provide an entertaning fish-out-of-water story (or duck-out-of-water, I guess) that I actually get kind of a kick out of.

Also throw in Plan 9 from Outer Space, which is so much fun, despite Ed Wood's obvious mistakes he makes through the film. But, you can feel Wood's optimism leap off the screen.

send it our way and we'll do that

Ed Wood is great because his work is laughably bad. MST3K material at its finest.

The Friday the 13th Series



Why they suck:
Scenario one: teens go to do shit like get high, drunk, or get busy in the old site of Camp Crystal Lake. Ugly psychopath kills them all. Survivor Girl goes and kills him by using psychology on him. Scenario two: teens go to do shit like get high, drunk, or get busy in the old site of Camp Crystal Lake. Ugly psychopath kills them all. Survivor Girl goes and kills him by using psychology on him. Scenario three: See scenarios one and two. Get where I'm going with this? Cardboard cutout stories, archetypal characters, predictable situations all over the place.

Why I love them:
These are some of those types of movies that just let you turn your brain off and enjoy the ride. They aren't deep, they don't require thought, you just get to sit back and relax seeing Jason behead/impale/incinerate/defenestrate/hang/whathaveyou countless idiotic teenagers. They're also hilarious as hell, some movies featuring memorable characters for fans that make the movies even better! They're meant to be ridiculous and funny, and the gore effects for any gorehounds are awesome to look at! Also, JASON.

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The series is dedicated to analyzing and eviscerating tasteless low-budged B-grade knock-offs of more popular and expensive Hollywood flicks - Mockbusters. CineMax is an amateur, yet aspiring movie critic, who makes comedic video reviews, writes insightful and analytical articles, and, occasionally just blabbers about stuff he deems important.

my top 10 movies of all time:

1. Gladiator
2. The Matrix
3. Friday
4. So I married an ax murderer
5. Serenity
6. Snatch
7. Stardust
8. Pride and Prejudice (yes a girly movie, shut your hole)
9. The Peaceful Warrior
10. The Transporter

Silent Hill : the Movie


Why it sucks:
It's another video game to movie title that people love to hate on. The little girl gets on everyone's nerves when she's NOT acting like an evil little bitch. The story is so abstract and inconclusive it destroys the movie. Silent Hill is horribly unbalanced, with the first half being good, but getting boring and tiresome half-way through.

Why I love it:
The camera work and visual styles are AWESOME. Pyramid Head is in it. From the moment Rose enters Silent Hill until about the middle of the movie, the odd camera work and the themes are horrifically brilliant. Visually a fantastic movie. Pyramid Head is in it. The music is directly from Akira Yamoka (the musician of the original games). Pyramid Head is in it. The unnoticeable additions that make a world of difference in terms of depth: Rose's dress goes from gray, to white, to blood red; The hopscotch chalk in the playground says Heaven and Hell. etc. etc. It's a deeper movie than most people realize, but the story still falls apart in the middle.

Pyramid Head is in it.

What Friday are we talking about? Just "Friday"?

Catwoman with Halle Berry

what sucks: everything

why I love it: Halle Berry in skin-tight black leather with a whip. Its an easy movie to Mystery Science with friends.