Obscure Movie Month: Space Invaders

OBSCURE MOVIE MONTH 2011 STARTS NOW!



Most of the cherished movies from our childhoods don’t age well with us. As we grow older, we grow more ‘mature’ in the fact that we become progressively soured and cynical from the world around us. The happy colorful fairy tales that gave us a naive sense of wonder and sparked our imaginations give way to our altered perceptions of every day life, and the pretty princess Snow White and her silly Sever Dwarves begins to look suspiciously like a homeless chick who pays her rent to seven midgets with a little more than just whistling while she works.

Or maybe it’s just me?

Regardless, everyone goes through that stage of their lives where they stumble upon a cherished childhood classic, watch it with ‘mature sensibilities’, crack open a beer, and think to themselves, “What the hell did I ever see in this?” Flashy colors, love conquers all, and nonsensical plots make up the vast majority of all children-orientated films that don’t have a pair of mouse-ears stamped on the cover. (I say that because after watching B-Mask's phenomenal "Epic Mickey" series, I have more respect for the big 'D')

This was the situation that I had expected to find myself in when I rewatched the 1990s quirky alien invasion comedy, “Spaced Invaders”. Before I even hit play I was already torn between the biases of my present-day cynicism and my childhood nostalgia. But as I neared the end of the movie, I was pleasantly surprised that even after nearly 20 years since I last saw Spaced Invaders, I was honestly enjoying it.

The story begins in space, where the Martian Empire is preparing for an attack on Arcturus. However, under a change in political leadership, the fleets are now equipped with Enforcer Drones, black, mechanical octopus devices that sound like Darth Vader and demand absolute obedience from their assigned Martian crews. The results of disobedience is made abundantly clear when one of the three commanding generals refuses to send his fleet on a suicide mission and is therefore put under "review", aka "fried,green martian". Due to the inflexibility of the enforcer drones, the entire fleet is annihilated, except for a sole asteroid patrol.

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-enforcer-drone.jpg
An Enforcer Drone, the bastard lovechild of Darth Vader and a squid.

Meanwhile, on Earth, It’s Halloween night in the small Midwest town creatively called "Big Bean, Illinois". Big Bean is populated with colorful archetypes such as an old man losing his farm to an inflexible, bastard banker unless he has cash or a crop, a meek and simple gas station attendant/car mechanic, and a small-time sheriff and widower and his young daughter. While the vast majority of the cast is set up for future gags with the aliens, the human-side to the story still focuses on three character subplots. The first is the recently relocated father-daughter relationship between Kathy (Ariana Richards, the girl from Jurassic Park) and her widower sheriff father, Sam (Douglas Barr). The second is about old man Wrenchmuller (the late Royal Dano) and his schemes to save his farm from being taken by the local Farmer's Trust bank, led by all around redneck, drinking and driving douche bag Klembecker (Gregg Berger). The third and final major human subplot comes in the form of the meek mechanic, Vern (Wayne Alexander), whose fateful Halloween night will go terribly awry when he comes into contact with the Martian Captain, Bipto.

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-Wrenchmuller-Klembecker.jpg
One of my favorite 'subtle' scenes, as Sam (sheriff) and Klembecker (antagonistic redneck banker in red) debate the legality of repossessing Wrenchmuller's land, Wrenchmuller (old man) nonchalantly searches his pockets for the shotgun shell with Klembecker's name on it.

While the town is preoccupied with Halloween and their own miniscule side-plots, the local radio DJ makes the fatal mistake of playing Orson Welle’s infamous War of the Worlds radio broadcast over the air, which catches the attention of the Martians during their asteroid patrol. In a 180-degree twist on the original War of the World’s effect on the American populous, the five totally clueless and inept Martians that make up the patrol are convinced that Mars has attacked the Earth, and it’s their duty to aid in the invasion. Of course, the own enforcement droid doesn’t give them much of an option, so the five race towards the source of the signal, the town of Big Bean, IL. After crash landing in Wrenchmuller's barn, their adventure for world conquest becomes an amusing romp as they are mistaken as trick-or-treaters, chased by angry gun-toting rednecks wearing Halloween costumes, and hunted by their cruel and unrelenting enforcer drone.

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-crew.jpg
"Prepare to die, Earth scum!"

I’m relieved and satisfied that they gave all five Martians their own unique personalities and their own look. The crew consists of:

Corporal Pez, the young, brash, smartass dressed like Marty McFly from Back to the Future.
Doctor Ziplock, the stereotypically German-accented group scientist who deeply reminds me of Peter Seller's Dr. Strangelove.
Lieutenant Giggywig, the over-zealous second-in-command who is an uncanny incarnation of the great Invader Zim, the protagonist from the eponymous Nickelodeon cult classic, and dresses like a Ghostbuster. His catch phrase is 'prepare to die, Earth scum!'
Captain Bipto, the oblivious glory-seeking commander of the Martian Asteroid Patrol.
Blaznee, the Martian spaceship pilot with the speech patterns and mannerisms of Jack Nicholson.

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-pilot-3d.jpg
DAT ASS!

The fifth Martian, Blaznee, is by far the coolest and most likable of the five, and it comes as no surprise that he gets the most solo screen time. Despite his pilot’s jacket, his aviator sunglasses, his Lakers basketball t-shirt (?), and his Jack Nicholson mannerisms and speech patterns, he’s also the most level headed member of the crew. While the other four members of the Martian invaders are eager to enslave Big Bean, the pilot stays behind to fix their damaged space ship and monitor the radio frequencies for updates on the Martian invasion of Earth. He is also the first to realize that the Martian invasion of Earth was just a radio show, and that the mission is going FUBAR fast. The pilot Martian steals every scene because of catchphrases like “Life’s a bitch, huh?” and his devil may care attitude towards most of his encounters with the hysterical Earthlings, but I still don’t know how in the hell did he get his hands on that Lakers t-shirt…

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-not-bad-just-stupid-kathy-duck.jpg
Kathy: "But dad, they're not really bad. They're just... stupid."

The only humans who have real contact with the Martians are Kathy, the daughter of the sheriff, and Brian (J.J. Anderson), a boy who spends the course of the movie in a large and awkward-looking duck costume. The two easily realize that the five kids wearing Martian costumes are not kids, nor are they wearing costumes. The only real link between the two earth kids and the Martians is Scout-In-A-Can, a small, innocent robot device from the World Domination Kit, who befriends the children.

Another character is that of Vern, the town's mechanic who, while donning a Zorro costume for Halloween, becomes an android slave (aka Vern-Droid) from the Martian Captain Bipto's implanting of an enormous flashing device into the back of his neck. The lowly and timid mechanic becomes an invincible android-like incarnation and what I, at the age of 8, believed to be the coolest character in the movie. And an 8 year old's perception of 'cool' is an adult's perception of 'annoying'. While Vern is no where near as on par with the idiocy of, say, Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars Episode 1, he still shares a few borderline overly-animated qualities with a familiar face...

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-vern-captain-bipto.jpg
Martian: "Doctor Insano??"

This brings up the movie's sense of humor, which is surprisingly decent. There are a few scenes in Spaced Invaders that genuinely made me laugh out loud (LOL) like Clembaker, the antagonistic banker, dressing up like Hulk Hogan for Halloween and giving trick-or-treaters packs of cigarettes, or when Klembaker is drinking and driving, and runs over Captain Bipto, or when the Martians exit their spacecraft in their Martian camouflage (ie bright red inflatable suits adept for the surface of Mars, but not quite adequate for Earth). There are a ton of other 'stupid alien invader' mishaps, but I'd rather not spoil any of the best jokes because you really need to watch it yourself. One of the best aspects of the comedy is that it is clean, like squeaky clean. Despite the lack of sexual innuendos that only adults pick up on, or excessive violence or cursing, Spaced Invaders delivers on genuine comedy, be it spoken lines of sarcasm, or visual gags and slapstick.
http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders-rednecks-in-halloween-costumes-shooting-aliens.jpg
Rednecks in Halloween costumes hunting Martian invaders. No, seriously!

However, just because there are some genuinely funny moments and clean humor doesn't mean that Spaced Invaders isn't without flaws.

Firstly, there's no A List actors in Spaced Invaders, unless you count Ariana Richards' debut, which would be like counting Johnny Depp as an A List actor during his debut in the first Nightmare on Elm Street. The result is some pretty outlandish and over-the-top acting and cliche lines for both the adults, Martians and children.

The entire premise of intelligent life being... 'not-so intelligent' has been explored for even longer than 20 years, and, to be honest, other movies and television shows have done a much better job of presenting a hilarious but more logical approach towards alien 'maladjustment' to earth culture. For instance, in Spaced Invaders all of the Martians have a lot of existing qualities of earthlings (Lakers basketball shirts and singing a Martian rendition of 'Home on the Range', for starters) which doesn't make any sense unless Martians have been among us for eons, and our culture has somehow rubbed off on them. This contrasts with shows like 'Invader Zim' or the Robin Williams sitcom 'Mork and Mindy', where the alien is painfully oblivious towards human social interaction. I'm not saying that Invader Zim or Mork and Mindy are 'logical' but I hope you get the point that I'm trying to make.

Lastly, despite some of the visual effects being impressive for the day (the space ships and the Enforcer Drone) the animatronics on the Martian's mouths are pretty terrible and out of sync. I'm not expecting much from a 90's Disney-backed sci-fi comedy, but about 20 minutes in it felt like I was watching my first Godzilla movie all over again: "Mommy, why do the Japanese people's mouths look funny when they talk?" At least what little Spaced Invaders botched with the animatronics of the day, the body language and visual humor by the actors in the Martian costumes is still satisfactory.

I guess it just goes to show that better technology a better film does not make.

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/userfiles/images/spaced-invaders/spaced-invaders.jpg
"On behalf of His Majesty's Imperial Atomic Space Navy, I invite you to surrender peacefully, so that we may execute you in an orderly fashion."


Conclusion

Outside of some technical and critical nitpicks, I still highly recommend the movie Spaced Invaders to any of you who want to watch a film with your children, or if you just want a clean good time. While not the most sophisticated or hilarious science fiction comedy I’ve ever seen, Spaced Invaders is neither condescending nor outright annoying, but is instead genuinely fun for even adults who still have a bit of that childhood magic in them.

You know, this is something completely out of left field for you because you haven't really struck me as the nostalgic type in your reviews, but to come out and look at something from your childhood is really neat! As for the review itself, I can have Heather look at it - she is very good at picking out grammar and other bullshit like that (she found, like, one or two grammar things in your published Cowboys and Aliens review when I had her read it after we saw the movie for ourselves).

(also holy shit, I'm alive)

As much as I'd like to give you a couple of insightful, usable suggestions like I usually do, I'm afraid I don't have any real –neither large nor small– issues with this review.

The 'Let's face it, nostalgia is a load of bull' introduction was nicely phrased and fit like a glove with the overall tone of the review; you managed to give sufficient backstory to the film without boring the readers with relatively useless information like when was this movie released, who was the director, etc.; you gave a quick rundown of the film's plot, setting, characters, as well as gave us an approximate idea of how the events in the movie are going to unfold without actually spoiling anything; finally, you masterfully tied up the review by stating that while some movies don't age as well as one'd hope and, in the end, end up looking naive or even farfetched, 'Space Invaders', despite all of its flaws and clichéd situations, can still be enjoyed even today by both old and new audiences alike.

If there's one thing I wasn't very fond of, though, it's the Doctor Insano joke. First of all, you're giving exposure to an obnoxious 'wacky' persona who's nothing more than a cheap rip-off of a much better, original character. Second, unless you're a fan or at least've heard about... those guys at some point, you're just not going to get it. Third, Vern doesn't even look much like Insano to me, to be frank. Doc Brown, on the other hand? Much better.

...and that's about it, really. A well-written, from-the-heart review of a silly comedy from the 80s that you most likely found lying somewhere in your basement, watched it, enjoyed it (much to your surprise, as it seems), and decided to share with the rest of us. Bravo, sir! Bravo!

P.S.
I know you had your LSAT test a couple of days ago (forgot to wish you good luck, by the way... Dumbass! ), but what's so shocking about that?

I haven't been terribly active on here aside from a very small response like "lolwtf", so I'm willing to be more active around here again now that the stupid LSAT is out of my hair!... unless I failed and have to take it again ;_;.

Don't fail just to write in a forum.
I can't comment on a movie I have never heard of but to me the whole review felt too serious. It was lacking a lot of your usual charming wit.

Thanks for the input guys, I'll make some changes tonight and post tomorrow. Hopefully this will help get us all out of this writing slump.

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Join your host, Kenny Farino, explore the world of video games music remixes and earn a new appreciation for video game music, video game music remixes, and of video game music remixers!

@KennyFarino: Ah, I see... Well, it's good to have you back, then!

@Blades: I dunno... In LaughingMan's defense, this isn't the kind of review where he can fully unwind or show off his irresistible wit. I mean, it's one thing if he hated the movie; I can just imagine all the amount of 'THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE' comments a-la his 'Cowboys and Aliens' review. However, since his original intention was to share his 'find' with us, he did just that.

That said, with all the calm, condescending, and unbiased reviews from you as of late (first 'Two Steps From Hell', now this), I'm seriously considering asking ONOE to find you another horrendous 'Lovecraft-inspired' anime show with giant robots and scantily clad underaged sluts to really jostle your flaps!

And he has... a few months ago he found another Lovecraft-based anime that looked absolutely BLASPHEMOUS, akin to the godaweful Demonbane. As much as I'd love to tear into it, I just won't give it any attention. Not worth the brain hemorrhaging.

no eff that noise. you better get your ass in gear and suffer though it and write your review. hell you guys pressured me through that damn awful game EA, your ass better get on that! (yes I know you suffered with me through that but I still have UI and LR that still give me nightmares).

@LaughingMan: Oh, I remember that one! Only I also remember that both you and Kenny were quick to draw out your bottles of holy water and silver crosses

You know, I've been thinking of trying to review something out of my 'comfort zone', if you know what I mean, for quite a while, so if you ever wanna team-up against that repugnant aberration...