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LaughingMan
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Post subject: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3  Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:31 pm |
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Create a Character (Avatar)The create an Avatar options in Home are actually really extensive. For the most part, you can create a very close (but never perfect) "3D You" in which to interact with others. You can change not only body shape, but also details like the broadness of your nose and chin, the height of your cheek bones, and so on and so forth. There are also presets that I call "Pick-A-Race" that enables you to change your race quickly instead of messing with the facial feature and skin tone options for hours on end. What I HATE about the Avatar creation is clothing, or complete lack thereof. When Home first came out, every guy was wearing blue jeans and a gray overshirt, while every girl was wearing tight blue jeans and one of three possible shirts. It wasn't until later that I learned that you had to go to 'the Mall' and BUY (WITH REAL MONEY) new clothes! Each hat, pair of shoes, shirt, or whatever costs between $0.50 - $2.00 of REAL MONEY. And of course with everyone except perverts and pedophiles too cheap to care about buying clothes for their Avatar, everyone sticks with the default clothes. My initial impression was that, despite having all this creative freedom in creating my character, I was just as distinguishable between other Avatars as one Smurf is with another.  And like The Smurfs, if you're a 'Smurfette', you're a gang rape victim waiting to happen. (See immediately below) Interact With OthersIf by 'interact' you mean "dozens of lonely video game nerds circling the nearest female avatar and staring at digital cleavage" then you're right on the money. I shit you not, if you don't have any other people in your Friends list, pretend you're a girl (make a female avatar), buy a short plaid skirt for $1.00 (real money), and dance for 3 minutes (having music to dance to is optional because for some reason it's not nearly as stupid or creepy as in real life). By the time you can finish humming 'The Bad Touch' by The Bloodhound Gang, you'll be in the center of a virtual bukaki circle attended by every nerd in a 50 foot radius, all of whom are striking stimulating conversations such as: "Hey" "Where u from?" "U look good" "ASL?" (Age, Sex, Location... scary that I actually know that...) "i 8 inches" "U want hard cox?" (no text messaging because that would require the use of both hands) And you wonder why these guys are on Home instead of on real dates... To be fair, communicating with other people is simple. You either hit the triangle button and start punching in text with either the Dualshock 3 controller or (if you're lucky) a USB keyboard, or you hold the L2 button and speak into a headset. I have yet to hear what I sound like on the other end of a conversation, but if it's like the cat calls and cursing of everyone else in Home, then I probably sound like I'm giving oral sex to a live microphone. CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL REVIEW
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CheshireCatStudios.com
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Post subject: Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:50 am |
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Share This Topic!
 
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Bound4Blades
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:50 am |
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Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:19 pm
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was your funiest review yet!!!!!!!!!! LaughingMan wrote: If by 'interact' you mean "dozens of lonely video game nerds circling the nearest female avatar and staring at digital cleavage" then you're right on the money. I shit you not, if you don't have any other people in your Friends list, pretend you're a girl (make a female avatar), buy a short plaid skirt for $1.00 (real money), and dance for 3 minutes (having music to dance to is optional because for some reason it's not nearly as stupid or creepy as in real life). By the time you can finish humming 'The Bad Touch' by The Bloodhound Gang, you'll be in the center of a virtual bukaki circle attended by every nerd in a 50 foot radius, all of whom are striking stimulating conversations such as:
"Hey"
"Where u from?"
"U look good"
"ASL?" (Age, Sex, Location... scary that I actually know that...)
"i 8 inches"
"U want hard cox?"
(no text messaging because that would require the use of both hands)
And you wonder why these guys are on Home instead of on real dates...
so true... even for you laughngman 
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LaughingMan
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:36 pm |
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Bound4Blades wrote: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was your funiest review yet!!!!!!!!!! LaughingMan wrote: If by 'interact' you mean "dozens of lonely video game nerds circling the nearest female avatar and staring at digital cleavage" then you're right on the money. I shit you not, if you don't have any other people in your Friends list, pretend you're a girl (make a female avatar), buy a short plaid skirt for $1.00 (real money), and dance for 3 minutes (having music to dance to is optional because for some reason it's not nearly as stupid or creepy as in real life). By the time you can finish humming 'The Bad Touch' by The Bloodhound Gang, you'll be in the center of a virtual bukaki circle attended by every nerd in a 50 foot radius, all of whom are striking stimulating conversations such as:
"Hey"
"Where u from?"
"U look good"
"ASL?" (Age, Sex, Location... scary that I actually know that...)
"i 8 inches"
"U want hard cox?"
(no text messaging because that would require the use of both hands)
And you wonder why these guys are on Home instead of on real dates...
so true... even for you laughngman  When did I ever make a retarded gesture like "u look good" to your Avatar? We just played a few games of billiards and made small, and POLITE conversation with voicechat. ...I DID compliment you on your voice and English accent, though. 
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"Humor is reason gone mad" - Groucho Marx
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Bound4Blades
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 10:02 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:19 pm
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Location: UK
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hahahaha!
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AlphawolfX
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:21 am |
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Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:43 pm
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eh, i thought home was alright for what it was. the review is funny but your exaggerating on a lot of the stuff about lines and how bad the theatre is. i actually want to see you do a video like the angry video game nerd or the spoony experiement and see if you actually get as pissed off about things the same w ay you write them. that would be sweet.
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I Am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise
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zimes
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 8:13 pm |
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I think that would be good for all reviews. still, on my reviews I want at least one of these ass hats on standby so I can kick him in the nads repeatedly.
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Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
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CheshireCatStudios.com
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Post subject: Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:11 am |
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LaughingMan
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:11 am |
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zimes wrote: still, on my reviews I want at least one of these ass hats on standby so I can kick him in the nads repeatedly. ass hats on standby? I've read that like 20 times and i still can't make sense of it. Who's the 'ass hat'?
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"Humor is reason gone mad" - Groucho Marx
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zimes
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:46 am |
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programmers / project managers. basicly anyone who is responsible for deploying such a colorful peice of crap.
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Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
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LaughingMan
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2009 7:46 pm |
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Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:25 pm
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Ah, got it
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X_SWORDFISH_X
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Post subject: Re: Playstation Home - Review - Playstation 3 Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 8:18 pm |
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Location: on the moon bitch!
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR HOME REVIEW IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote: If someone wanted to see just how stupid people would be if 'shame' didn't exist, they should experience Home. The bukaki rings of twelve nerds around one female avatar (who is probably really a guy), people dancing in the middle of a park for no reason and with no music to dance to, and the people who dress like Santa Clause and run in circles (probably because they can't run around naked) is just a horrific visiage that, like staring at the contents of the Ark of the Covenant, will make your head explode. Quote: Anyways, when I first saw advertisements for what was playing in the theater, my heart almost stopped. They were showing the new CGI Resident Evil Movie, "Degeneration" (hey, you take what you can get, right?). So I'm stoked that I can go in and view trailers in the Theater, but a whole movie? No fucking way! I'll admit, I was skeptical about being able to watch a whole movie in Home without paying for it (like every other goddamn thing except the fucking worthless Bubble Machine) so I went in expecting to see a movie trailer.
Now, pause for a second to let me describe the 'movie-going experience' in Home. Remember my Bukaki reference above? Now, take that, and add everything you HATE about going to the movies in REAL LIFE (people talking during the movie, people walking in front of you, etc). THAT IS THE HOME MOVIE THEATER IN A NUTSHELL. It's fucking bad enough that you have people walking infront of you so you can't see shit, but then you also have their big goddamn text bubbles. If you're sitting down, YOU CAN'T SEE SHIT EXCEPT FOR A FUCKING OCEAN OF BAD PICKUP LINES THAT LOOKS LIKE 'THE DATING GAME' CLOSED-CAPTIONED FOR THE HEARING IMPARED!
Anyways, back to Resident Evil: Degeneration...
So I sit down, and if you're lucky enough to have a broadband connection, the video doesn't take too long to load (depending on server-load which, naturally, has died down considerably since the cluster-fuck 'unveiling' where everyone and their goldfish were online). So I'm standing up in the front row so I can actually watch the video, and, to my surprise, the movie 'starts'. Like, it starts from the 'beginning'. You see the opening title screen, and the actual movie starts playing! I'm seeing the beginning of the full movie.
"Oh snap, I'm gonna make me sum popcornz!" So I stop the movie and pop up a batch of kernels, and then re-enter the Theater in the hopes that maybe Home really has something going for it. I'm watching the opening sequence that describes the zombie outbreak in Raccoon City and the nuclear bomb that 'solves the problem'. Then the movie starts setting up the plot. We're reintroduced to the main characters from Resident Evil 2, and I'm enjoying the shit out of myself.
Hell, I can really tolerate all the bullshit going on behind me in the Home Theater if the movie is FREE. In fact, this is really worth it.
The movie is kinda slow for the first 10 minutes, but it gives me something to do on a weeknight.
Oh shit... is that dude a zombie? ... Nah, false alarm. Some hippie protester duche in a zombie outfit... Oh snap, it's Leon! Fuckin' A, he kicked ass in Resident Evil 4!! ... .... *watching intently* ... ... oh fuck... oh fuck, now THAT is a zombie!
Run security cop, RUUUUNNN!!!
*Screen goes black*
"RESIDENT EVIL: DEGENERATION - NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD AND BLU-RAY"
COCKTEASE! COCKTEASE!!! YOU'RE SITE IS NOW ON MY FAV LIST!! KEEP IT UP!!!!
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Valkyria Chronicles - Review - Playstation 3
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