Cthulhu phtagn, guys, and welcome to the third article of the Horror Corner! This week... I'm going to review something I've actually been looking forward to writing about. Originally, I intended for this to be a video much akin to the ones found in my personal blog, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because of the content of what I'm reviewing. That, and there is so much wrong with this stinker that I was afraid I might have exceeded 10 minutes had I done a video. So alright, here we go. We're reviewing Repo! The Genetic Opera, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman. The dude who directed Saw 2, 3, and 4.
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-Synopsis-
Basically, this movie is about the not-too-distant future, apparently, as organ failures are becoming dangerously common among ordinary people. A new company comes out of nowhere, GeneCo., which has the answer to this epidemic: loaning organs to people who can't pay for transplants to save their lives. Which is weird because I'm sure giving people replacements is going to help much in a world where mass organ failure is an everyday occurrence. Anyway, if people can't repay their loans in time, GeneCo., being the savior of mankind that it is, sends a Repoman to
savagely rip out the person's organs. Yes, organs are repossessed in the same way that a car or house can be if you don't pay your debt.
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In the meantime, the main arc is about Shilo, played by Alexa Vega of
Spy Kids fame, who is the daughter of a Repoman, played by Anthony Head of Buffy fame. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as this terminally-ill child goes out of her way to defy her father and find out more about her past. This sounds disturbingly like an anime...
ANYWAY. Shenanigans ensue, and by shenanigans I mean stuff that is incredibly confusing and nonsensical. More people in the cast include Bill Moseley, Ogre, Paris Hilton, Sarah Brightman, and Paul Sorvino. Aside from three people, the cast alone scares me out of seeing this movie. Especially when a good bit of it revolves around this twat:
Seeing the actual face of Paris Hilton will cause those who gaze upon it to melt.
Anyway, since I'd hate to come across as a biased [insert unsavory word here], let's first find some good things about this movie.
-The Good-
The gothic aesthetic that permeates through most of this movie can be appealing at times, making its own strange atmosphere in this apocalyptic future world of ours. With the combination of what seems like Universal Monster movies, Saw, and Astro Boy, it's a genuinely original concept that I enjoyed looking at. It could be a bit overwhelming at times, like the graveyard and the
giant pile of bodies within, it was probably one of the better things in this film.
... you might expect a picture here, but I couldn't find anything. Don't kill me.
One of the other things I actually liked about this was how some of the people could actually
sing. Anthony Head could sing to some extent (much akin to Johnny Depp could barely get there in
Sweeney Todd), but the real stars in my eyes are Paul Sorvino and Sarah Brightman, who were the only things operatic about the whole damn thing. As in they sang
opera. Hell, the song Sarah Brightman sings near the end is actually the only song I liked in its entirety because it was melodic, operatic, and had all of the other elements that songs should have. Unlike other songs in this trainwreck.
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You might think this review is relatively long compared to my Dexter Season Two review so far, but that's because I didn't have that much to complain about when it came to that season. It ranked average in my opinion, but it was still kickass television so I had little to whine about. With this movie... well, let's say this: I took notes when I was watching it, and two pages equated to only twenty minutes into the movie, and all of those notes amounted to what was wrong with this movie. You know what you're in for.
-The Bad-
First off, let's complain about the story element of the movie, because there was just so much wrong in THAT respect. The story is something that a lonely housewife would put on deviantART… or Eli Roth’s wetdream. It’s confusing, but it’s covered in blood and sex. It makes no sense!
Why exactly would anyone legalize organ repossession? That makes no sense. Assuming this is the future, you would think that a) they would find medicine to fix this problem, and b) no sane supreme court would legalize the killing of people to repossess their organs if they don’t pay up. Seriously, and this isn’t a third world country where stuff like this can happen without warning, this seems to me like this takes place in America. There are easier ways to repossess something, but they insist on sending serial killers to kill people and take their organs. Was this a musical made by Charles Manson or something?
Also, why on earth would the Repoman take the organs so savagely and quickly? Wouldn’t that ruin the damn thing? What he does is basically find them, shove a knife in them, and rip the organ out as if this was
Gears of War. Why not drug these people and take them somewhere to surgically take the organs out instead of going “Jack the Ripper” on them? Wait a second, he did do that in one scene, so the Repoman's style isn't only savage in one scene, but it is inconsistent throughout the whole movie. It's either one way or the other, make up your mind, Mr. Director/Writer!
I know movies are meant to utilize a suspension of disbelief in order to work, but this is just too ridiculous not to mention. Also, we have a special guest appearances in the form of plot devices! Sorvino's character, the owner of GeneCo., has a terminal disease, yet seems perfectly fine until the very end of the movie, when things are looking hopeless for Siloh and her dad. Magically, though, his terminal sickness kicks in, and he dies. Thanks, convenient plot devices!
In the end, the story is almost irrelevant because the three psychopaths/children who aided their father in his ambitions survived and ran GeneCo, being Bill Moseley, Ogre, and Paris Hilton. The only resolution to our story we get is Siloh deciding to make her own choices, but she’s still going to live in a world with GeneCo and Repomen so what’s the point?
Remember how I mentioned a gigantic pile of bodies earlier on? If there is a whole city where there are so many bodies dumped underneath and around it, wouldn’t there be rotting corpses, massive outbreaks of disease, and other obvious things so very wrong with the place? Maybe that’s why organs fail, BECAUSE THERE ARE BODIES LYING AROUND TO GENERATE DISEASE.
-unable to get picture because it may be illegal. Just saying-
Oh boy, let's talk about the characters. One of the most important things about a movie are the characters that inhabit it, whether they be death fodder in slashers to move the story along, a love interest to make a sub-plot, or an interesting and endearing character to make things interesting. With Repo!, you have none of this. Except perhaps the occasional death fodder. For instance, why is Paris Hilton nothing more than a slut on screen? I think the only reason she was chosen for the role, or the only reason that character exists, is to give Hilton a chance to relive her very short career as a porn star like in the movie that got her noticed. Twisted sex appeal? Perhaps... I mean, in one part she goes to what seems like a group of prostitutes to get injections or surgery (that's the new fad in the future), and look at the result:
What the hell.
Also, somebody please explain to me why most of the other cast members are like cardboard cutouts. Paul Sorvino's character has some shining moments of stupidity, like killing the doctor who tells him his disease is terminal (maturity at its best), but the people who are really good at being crappy characters are Pavi and Luigi Largo, played by Ogre and Bill Moseley respectively. One is obsessed with a sexual pleasure of wearing people's faces, and the other is psychotic, and will stab people for absolutely no reason.
While we're on the subject, let's go on about how they both resemble Leatherface and Chop-Top from
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 in either appearance or mannerisms. Pavi Largo wears other people's faces. Enough said. Luigi Largo is an insane bastard, and he is even played by the same dude who plays Chop-Top. Leatherface wears faces, and Chop-Top is insane. Is this a theft of ideas? Speaking of a theft of ideas, the Repoman sings while he kills people, much like how Sweeney Todd does. More idea theft?
A little emotion from the actors would have been nice, you know. Apart from the Repo Man, everybody feels like a gothic robot. That’s what I hate, a charmless cast with about as much charisma as a dead goldfish trying to make you care about them. Speaking of no emotion, most of the songs also have as much charm as the cast. You don’t hear people humming the tunes of Repo! everywhere, and for very good reason. It’s not that some of the actors can’t sing, a few of them can. The problem is that the songwriters were very uninspired when they were meant to be doing their job, and what we get are some of the must unmemorable songs I’ve ever heard. Some of this is the quality of a children’s play.
(SEGWAY INTO MUSIC ASPECT)
Some things that were sung could have easily been spoken. Just because it’s an opera doesn’t mean every arbitrary detail has to be sung, or else it will just sound silly. “I’m going outside to catch this bug, and then I’ll go inside.” “I’ll take my meds.” Come on, that sounds stupid. In other musicals like Sweeney Todd, a much better operetta, the small details were spoken, and the songs didn’t sound so silly because they didn’t state the obvious. With Repo!, some things could have been better said than sung.
The transition of some songs is brutal, giving no warning before one of them starts. For instance, out of the blue, the song Seventeen starts up. Suddenly, a rock band comes out of nowhere and Siloh changes into leather rocker gear. All of this to tell her dad he's a bad parent? What is going on?!
Another song just made my jaw drop: “My brother and sister should fuck” “I’m the smartest and the toughest, I will find a hole, and fuck it.” Are these people mentally ill? Are they four years old? This is ridiculous!
The only truly operatic song in this genetic opera was ruined by the singer gouging her eyes out and being impaled. Subtle.
Finally, let's get into the technical film aspects to see why this movie is terrible, shall we?
The editing during some songs are so choppy and out of continuity that it makes them a pain to watch, like Vega’s first full song. It would have been less of a chore to watch if the editor took his medicine and didn’t spaz out. It was more like watching a music video than a movie or rock opera, what the hell is going on?
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Speaking of editing, why is it that when Alexa Vega is meant to sing in the beginning of the movie, she does it off-screen, when the camera’s doing a wide shot, or at an angle where you can’t see her mouth? It made me think it was a different singer doing her voice, especially when we finally got to see her actually sing on camera. I think this was a poor choice in editing, but it could be a combination of both.
The comic-esque sequences in Repo! could have very easily been done by song. If anyone has seen a real musical, they can tell you that flashbacks can very easily be told by song. Take Sweeney Todd, again, for instance. “Barber and His Wife” is a song that tells of his past in a few minutes, while in Repo! what could have been the better songs are instead lazy comic-esque panels that act as exposition. Dull exposition. Is this a comic book movie? A rock opera? Make up your mind!
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This was made by the director of some Saw sequels, and it shows. In some portions, the characters gleefully rip intestines and organs out, and the camera lingers on that for some time. In some portions, there’s actually a sexual tinge to the violence. For fans of the Torture Porn genre (I’m not making that up, there is a sub-genre with such a name), they’ll enjoy this. For anyone else, it’s hard to really get into the film’s childish obsession with sex and guts.
-The Verdict-
It’s a mess. Some people seem to love this, but you won’t find me calling myself a fan. I was told this was a great movie by so many deviantART people, but then my college friends told me it sucked. I went into this movie expecting to hate it, and I was pleasantly surprised... in which I was absolutely right in my expectations! With emotionally retarded characters, terrible music, and a story that’s incredibly confusing, not to mention being very poorly made in the process, this big fat train crash gets a big fat one out of five.
1/5
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