Rocksmith Review

Anybody play this yet? I spent the entire night with it last night and I'm impressed as hell. It's like Rockband but for people who actually want to play a REAL guitar instead of clicking 5 plastic buttons in their grandma's basements. A few kinks to work out, sure but man it was fun. Review coming soon!



So far I've actually mastered one of its songs, and again, this is REAL GUITAR we're talking about here, playing REAL music:


Speaking of which, I've chosen the next subject of my "The Padded Room":
Professional Gamers
You know the type: "I play Rockband 10 hours a day and I go on Rockband tours because I'm a 'Professional Gamer'."

My reply: "Fuck you, you're wasting your life thinking that you 'rock' because you can play a toy guitar."

Hold it! A video game that actually teaches you how to play a real guitar instead of handing you a cheap plastic toy with only five colorful buttons that you're expected to press like a retarded baboon? Slap my ass and call me Sally!


Wait, wait, wait. Are we talking about "hardcore gamers" (i.e., twelve year-olds on Xbox Live who brag about their gamer score and threaten to teabag your grandma if you kill their sorry ass in Call of Duty) or "professional gamers" (i.e., the kind who plays Counter Strike, StarCraft, Rock Band all they long, attend "championships," and honestly believe that if they, say, can headshot someone in Battlefield they can also do that in real-life)?

'Cos if it's the latter, then I'm actually looking forward to your article. After all, everyone's made fun of the aforementioned twelve year-olds; however, for some reason the obese, no-life basement-dwellers seem to have avoided public ridicule thanks to their, and I quote, "skill."

Include a dinner and a movie, and it's a deal -is shot in the face-

Yup, REAL guitar, ANY real guitar. I'm using my dad's 30 year old guitar. You plug it into your Xbox 360, PS3, or PC via a connection cable that ships with the game. The rest of the game is very similar to Rockband, but they're real chords you're playing so after you progress enough with a song, you can plug your guitar into an amp and actually play the real song.


The Professional gamers. I'm reminded of my friend L.P. who actually met up with "famous" girl gamer StarSlay3r.

L.P. was nuts about this girl... who gallivanted across the country playing a Fisherprice toy at conventions.

See what I'm getting at here? You may say: "Well pro athletes, movie stars, and musicians do the same thing" and you'd be right. I'll even go a step further and say that intermediary artists, hobbyists, and even minor league ball teams often have to travel.

Do you want to know the difference?

All of these pursuits are rooted in self-betterment in THE REAL WORLD. When you paint, sing or even catch a football it's YOU and YOUR OWN SKILL. You work hard so that you can run faster, sing better, or master a real guitar.

At the end of the day, what new skill does professional gaming award you? Can you actually play football because you play a Madden football game? Can you shoot a real gun after playing a Call of Duty tournament? Can you play a real guitar just because you can play Rockband?

The answer is a resounding "NO".

While video games are fun and an addictive hobby, video games are not a substitute for both REAL SKILL and REALITY ITSELF.

Oh. Yes. A real winner, this one. Doesn't help that those Fischer Price guitars are actually out-of-style and are a joke in the game industry, so what happens when the games you become a master at become obsolete? Football, singing, painting, writing literature, those never become obsolete, and have been around for 100+ years. Playing Guitar Hero or Starcraft have already become obsolete in the course of 5-15 years.

I just sit back and look at "Pro Gamers" and their "accomplishments" and I can't take any of them seriously. Being a "Rockband rockstar" is like going around saying you're a professional artist with Mario Paint.

@LaughingMan: I see your point. Actually, you don't even need to compare her to painters, athletes, actors, etc. Just compare her to a real musician. That's right, a person who plays real music, not a pre-recorded midi-file.

Also, it's almost New Year here, I'm a little intoxicated, so have a good time, y'all. I love you, you crazy bastards!

I wish that they would make a game that could read the music on any cd or mp3 and you could play along to it. But I'm sure that's about another ten years away.

Now THATS an awesome idea!!!

I'll have the review for this up by the weekend. For those who want a sneak peek, check it out here:

http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/revie ... ideo-game/