TMNT Turtles Forever Review

What? You're kidding me right? The REAL classic Turtles were never made fun of. I read the originals in high school. (Yeah, I'm old....WHAT?)

They made fun of the sellout turtles. Now some of you might have grown up with those turtles that were ridiculed so much, but when I was a fan, the Turtles only kicked ass. THAT IS ALL. There are even tits in the originals... AND BLOOD!

When the creators sold, and it was surely worth their while, the story got super cheesy to sell toys to kids. Sure, I had a Michelangelo action figure with bobblehead style swinging chucks glued to the dash of my first car. It still sucked to see it go so soft from where it had been. This movie held me enthralled through the whole thing, because I very much enjoyed the ridicule of the sellouts. I even fully enjoyed when they turned a flashlight into an interdimensional transporter with some wires and the smack of a wrench. I have, after all been a TMNT fan since the very start of them. The final sequence of the movie with the original Turtles was spectacular. The classic turtles taking names while all the others were still standing around showed the true superiority of the gritty, original NINJA Turtles. I will admit, however that the sellout Turtles did stop Shredder from destroying everyone with an exploding ninja shuriken...
They even tied all of the Turtles ever seen (and some that have never been seen) and tied them into the plot seemlessly. I highly recommend this DVD to anyone who has been a fan of any version at any time.

You gave me a headache, Headache. When I wrote that the 'classic' turtles are being ripped a new asshole I meant the classic 1980s turtles not the black and white hardasses that I really thought made the movie. I keep calling the 80's turtles 'classic' the same way you call them 'sellouts'. It just comes down to my first fond memories of the turtles were the 80s exploited turtles and not the hardass and cool as fuck original turtles like you were.

Were the 80s turtles campy? Oh hell yeah I'd lie if I said they werent but they never acted as retarded as they are depicted in Turtles Forever and thats my whole damn rant in a peanutshell. In your eyes the 80s turtles got their asses handed to them because they were pisspoor excuses compared to your first fond memory of them from the original comic books and if I was in your shoes I would have pissed myself laughing like a retard watching a dumptruck full of candy spilling into a petting zoo. But my childhood saturdays were early mornings, sugar cereal, and turtle power, and this movie gave it all a big 'FUCK YOU' so i'm giving it back.