My Star Wars the Phantom Menace

I hate this movie. George Lucas can suck it for ruining a great series.

The Phantom Menace is about a young Darth Vader who is played by a kid who can't even act as Pinnochio becase he is so wooden and bad. And this kid builds 3CPO and what is up with that? So then Qui Gon Jinn is played by Liam Neeson who is the coolest guy in Hollywood because he has been a Jedi and Batman's ninja teacher. He meets the stupid kid and discovers that the force virus is in his veins and wants to make him his apprentice. But wasn't that Ben Kenobi's job? No because Ben Kenobi is Qui Gon Jinn's apprentice so the only way that can work is if he dies at the end. SPOILER ALERT! and so the Jedis are all protecting this galaxy geisha named Padme who the retarded bad acting kid falls in love with but the evil trade federation of Chinese aliens hire evil Sith lords to kill her and one Sith lord is Darth Maul who is a badass with a double bladed lightsaber staff. But then there is Jar Jar binks who is so retarded that I have to tell you about him. Jar Jar is annoying and he makes my ears hurt from his MEESA this and MEESA that. I think he is a racist figure to.

So in the end everyone fights in a big computer graphics battle with lots of cool FXs and Qui Gon dies leaving baby Darth Vader to be trained by Obi-wan.

This movie fucking sucks donkey balls up a porcupine's asshole. This is a shitstain on filmmaking and I need a beer to drink until I cant remember this rotten asshole of a movie.
0 out of 10!!

This is a joke right?

nice 5 second review. where is the rest of it?

Please tell me that this was a spoof of an AVGN skit that was originally written in a foreign language and converted to English using a horrible internet translator.

So you dont like my review? Yes I tried to make it mean like the Angry Game Nerd like you write here. What should I do to fix it and make it a part of this web page?

put some thought process to it. give it your own spin but anyone that has not seen this movie wont know what the f*** you are talking about.

I don't want to play Simon Cowell, but "That was horrible." To be a bit more constructive:
- It had no coherent thought
- There wasn't anything even remotely explained in detail
- The ending was TOO AVGN, as in copy/pasted directly
- It wasn't a review at all, it was a 5 second rant

We only post reviews that are REAL reviews, not random rants and a 5 second synopsis that can't even name characters or introduce them in chronological order. The reviews we post HAVE to be well explained (ie ONOE, Dave) and (optionally) well explained and humerous/snarky (Me, Zimes, Kenny, Chuckysin, RITOS, etc). Everyone we've featured has at least explained their stances on the item they are reviewing in depth so that a reader can atleast understand their standpoints.

We encourage retries, but in your case I'd recommend that you first either read a Wikipedia article, or pass an 8th grade writing class.

No. Go back and try again. Follow LaughingMan's advice above me, and read some of our reviews to see what we want.

I don't think that this is a serious attempt. Hows about we lock this thread and pretend it never existed?