First try at a review in a bit

A'ight guys, had some OS issues so lost the original review, here's what I have so far, should have it cleaned up here soon with graphics and youtube links and what not. Feel free to ripe it apart if my style sucks and what not.

Urban Terror

Well ladies and gents, welcome to the first review I've written in way WAY too long. I hope I can live up to the informative whit of the resident reviews. Then again, if I don't they bugger off or something to that effect. Without further babble here we go.

Urban Terror

I'll admit I'm first one to jump on any free game download. Even though most lead to approximately fifteen minutes of cock-knocked teasing only to chuck the offender from your drive faster than that five dollar crack whore the wife doesn't know about. Yup, you come away completely unsatisfied from the experiance, wonder why you were so excited in the first place and hopping nothing to horrid will linger in memory. That being said, when I heard of this particular FPS(first person shooter for all the n00bs.) I was interested. When I learned it was based on the Quake III, encorporated the good parts of Counter Strike and left out the suck!? Shit, sign my ass up! It's freakin frag time motherfucker! Someone's face is about to go splatty in quick way.

First things first, the download and install. Hell, with connections as fast as they are now? Start the download go have a good shit and a sandwich and you'll be good to go for install. And being that the dev team over at Urban Terror don't live with thier heads firmly up old Billy Gates brown starfish, drinking his windows tainted anal juices. They have provided install files for pretty much every OS in use today. Yeah! I know! Still don't forget this games is FREE! No pay to play insentives and what not that piss me off so bad I want to choke a cat and punch a cute little puppy dead in his eye. (/Rant: WTF is it with games that lure you in like a sexy assed model wanna be hooker, only to get you into the room, get you intereset for the main event, only at the last second to bring in what damn near has to be the freakin bastard step child of the lagoon creature to do the mombo on your nether bits? MAN! that free tell the game starts to get good and now I have to pay? FUCK YOU! I should dig up your dead grandma and SKULL FUCK her right in front of your ratshit face. /RANT)
So, install is done, fire on up the client, create a name and go through the tutorials. I know, I know, I don't freakin want to hear it. I know too many gamers think tutorials are tanamount to reading the directions. Well, unless you are pretty seasoned at FPS games. RTFM! or not only will you look like a total dooche, you'll get your ass handed to you in severly nasty and creative ways. Also you will learn some valuable little tidbits that will keep your bullet sponge alive a tick longer. Afterall, games like this can really suck donkey nuts if you keep getting powned every ten seconds.

GRAPHICS:

Okay, I'll be the first to admit. The graphics aren't cutting edge with all the glitz and glam of say God of War. But hell, this game engine isn't any spring chicken, and with that said, the urban settings are great, some even visually appealing if you have to time to actually look around. Avatars are more than adequate, the gun models live a bit to be desired, all this should be fixed with the next coming release. Oh, yeah did I mention this game is free? And will always be free?


GAME PLAY:

Now this is where a ton of options come into play. While you have your standard fair of capture the flag, team death match and what not, there have been some interesting shred outs one in particular being IcyJump servers. Now let me tell ya, these are some assed-out crazy SOB's. The premise of this iteration is to basically slide your ass through, over and around obsticals as quickly as possible without A. Death via blunt force trama i.e., ramming your face at warp speed into a wall or B. One of the other crazy bastards sliding around like a run away vibrator covered in astro glide actually shooting your face off. Yeah, it happens. Been there done that, burned that damned tee-shirt. There are also what are called Jump Servers. These guys are pretty high on the ass-crazy list in my book as well. The challenge here? Basically you have levels that require really technical moves to complete. An example would be one of the first ones I tried for n00bs. Consisted of running up to speed, executing a slide, jump, wall jump to comlete a 45 degree corner around a freakin ravien to move on to the next level. Yeah, either these chumps have a ton of free time, or very quick fingers. Cause let me tell ya, I tried for around a half hour or so to get this one right, in the end there was a nice collection of jib soup at the bottom to show for my efforts. Too each thier own and fuck that thank. However, I give this as yet another good point for a damned fine game.

For those coming from Counter Strike, things are a bit different, as I said before, there aren't really classes. You designate yourself more with your loadout. Say you feel like being a heavy weapons guy. Grabbing your kevlar helmet, vest, and belt fed fuck-you-in-the-ass boom stick of doom. Now enjoy the river of blood as you run around making bloody death soup of anyone dumb enough to get in your way. Feel free to laugh manically over the voice channel. Nothing makes a fuckin maniac with a death stick better than a crazed out laugh of joy. But check this out, once you get wacked you might decide it's better to lay low and kill from afar. Easy, switch out on the fly for a sniper rifle and what not. Find a nice quiet place and commence dispatching asshats from thier face with a stasifing click of death. Or giving then a good "graping" as Zimes would say. I can't tell ya how many times I listening to him giggling away: " Dude! I just graped that same stupid asshat again!" Usually followed by a balls out belly laugh when said asshat comes around the corner yet again. Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking CT. It was and still is a good FPS. The parts that ate at my nether bits came from having to earn/buy shit and the INFURIATING spawn delay. WTF? Who ever thought of that shit needs to be skull fucked with a fuckin tree trunk. But I digress. Before I forget you can also play the role of a medic ( which I do most of the time.) As well as heavy explosives.
Along with the frantic gameplay that usally insues as soon as you load a map if you don't forget one thing there jarhead, rember this: If you get shot, stabbed ( Yup everyone gets a big fuckin knife! Nothing says loving like a little stabby stabby to the face right?) or partially blown apart you must BANDAGE your wounds or your stupid ass will not only bleed to death, you will leave a nice little blood trail for someone to follow and ice your pathitic n00b ass. And yes, you would deserve it! Learn from it and don't piss about it in local unless you want the wrath of an entire server down your freakin throat. Killing you like a swarm of pissed of geeks coming of a mountain dew bender, yeah not pretty.

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that was awesome. verbally graphic and cant wait to read the rest of it. need pics though bro.

I like it. It's good to have a balance of serious reviews and cynical rants.

Since Zimes told me it's not finished I don't need to ask for images or other topics like 'sound' and the ilk.

I would just run it through a spell checker before you submit a final copy. Outside of some misspellings a few of your sentences were kind of confusing.

Other than that I'd say "Welcome abord" (joke)

I am just passing out the criticisms like candy this month.
Is there any more stuff coming down the pipe? I'm thinking I will probably like it better as a whole than I do right now. I like the style so far but it looks like 80% rant and it could use a little bit more review to round it out.

And you would be correct it was 80% finished. I had the review done just the way I wanted it, then the portable harddrive was jacked at school. Zimes was asking me left and right when I would have it up. So to shut him up for a bit I put what I had. Totally agree there needs to be a good meld of piss and fire with good know information about the game. Hopefully I'll live up to the mark with the final version.

Urban Terror

Well ladies and gents, welcome to the first review I've written in way WAY too long. I hope I can live up to the informative whit of the resident reviews. Then again, if I don't they bugger off or something to that effect. Without further babble here we go.

Urban Terror

I'll admit I'm first one to jump on any free game download. Even though most lead to approximately fifteen minutes of cock-knocked teasing only to chuck the offender from your drive faster than that five dollar crack whore the wife doesn't know about. Yup, you come away completely unsatisfied from the experience, wonder why you were so excited in the first place and hopping nothing to horrid will linger in memory. That being said, when I heard of this particular FPS(first person shooter for all the n00bs.) I was interested. When I learned it was based on the Quake III, incorporated the good parts of Counter Strike and left out the suck!? Shit, sign my ass up! It's freakin frag time motherfucker! Someone's face is about to go splatty in quick way.

First things first, the download and install. Hell, with connections as fast as they are now? Start the download go have a good shit and a sandwich and you'll be good to go for install. And being that the dev team over at Urban Terror don't live with their heads firmly up old Billy Gates brown starfish, drinking his windows tainted anal juices. They have provided install files for pretty much every OS in use today. Yeah! I know! Still don't forget this games is FREE! No pay to play incentives and what not that piss me off so bad I want to choke a cat and punch a cute little puppy dead in his eye. (/Rant: WTF is it with games that lure you in like a sexy assed model wanna be hooker, only to get you into the room, get you interest for the main event, only at the last second to bring in what damn near has to be the freakin bastard step child of the lagoon creature to do the mambo on your nether bits? MAN! that free tell the game starts to get good and now I have to pay? FUCK YOU! I should dig up your dead grandma and SKULL FUCK her right in front of your ratshit face. /RANT)
So, install is done, fire on up the client, create a name and go through the tutorials. I know, I know, I don't freakin want to hear it. I know too many gamers think tutorials are tantamount to reading the directions. Well, unless you are pretty seasoned at FPS games. RTFM! or not only will you look like a total douche, you'll get your ass handed to you in severely nasty and creative ways. Also you will learn some valuable little tidbits that will keep your bullet sponge alive a tick longer. After all, games like this can really suck donkey nuts if you keep getting powned every ten seconds.

GRAPHICS:

Okay, I'll be the first to admit. The graphics aren't cutting edge with all the glitz and glam of say God of War. But hell, this game engine isn't any spring chicken, and with that said, the urban settings are great, some even visually appealing if you have to time to actually look around. Avatars are more than adequate, the gun models leave a bit to be desired, all this should be fixed with the next coming release. Oh, yeah did I mention this game is free? And will always be free?


GAME PLAY:

Now this is where a ton of options come into play. While you have your standard fair of capture the flag, team death match and what not, there have been some interesting shred outs one in particular being IcyJump servers. Now let me tell ya, these are some assed-out crazy SOB's. The premise of this iteration is to basically slide your ass through, over and around obstacle as quickly as possible without A. Death via blunt force trama i.e., ramming your face at warp speed into a wall or B. One of the other crazy bastards sliding around like a run away vibrator covered in astro glide actually shooting your face off. Yeah, it happens. Been there done that, burned that damned tee-shirt. There are also what are called Jump Servers. These guys are pretty high on the ass-crazy list in my book as well. The challenge here? Basically you have levels that require really technical moves to complete. An example would be one of the first ones I tried for n00bs. Consisted of running up to speed, executing a slide, jump, wall jump to complete a 45 degree corner around a freakin ravine to move on to the next level. Yeah, either these chumps have a ton of free time, or very quick fingers. Cause let me tell ya, I tried for around a half hour or so to get this one right, in the end there was a nice collection of jib soup at the bottom to show for my efforts. Too each their own and fuck that thank. However, I give this as yet another good point for a damned fine game.

For those coming from Counter Strike, things are a bit different, as I said before, there aren't really classes. You designate yourself more with your loadout. Say you feel like being a heavy weapons guy. Grabbing your kevlar helmet, vest, and belt fed fuck-you-in-the-ass boom stick of doom. Now enjoy the river of blood as you run around making bloody death soup of anyone dumb enough to get in your way. Feel free to laugh manically over the voice channel. Nothing makes a fuckin maniac with a death stick better than a crazed out laugh of joy. But check this out, once you get wacked you might decide it's better to lay low and kill from afar. Easy, switch out on the fly for a sniper rifle and what not. Find a nice quiet place and commence dispatching asshats from their face with a satisfying click of death. Or giving then a good "graping" as Zimes would say. I can't tell ya how many times I listening to him giggling away: " Dude! I just graped that same stupid asshat again!" Usually followed by a balls out belly laugh when said asshat comes around the corner yet again. Don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking CT. It was and still is a good FPS. The parts that ate at my nether bits came from having to earn/buy shit and the INFURIATING spawn delay. WTF? Who ever thought of that shit needs to be skull fucked with a fuckin tree trunk. But I digress. Before I forget you can also play the role of a medic ( which I do most of the time.) As well as heavy explosives.
Along with the frantic gameplay that usuallyyensuess as soon as you load a map if you don't forget one thing there jarhead,rememberr this: If you get shot, stabbed ( Yup everyonegets aa big fuckin knife! Nothing says loving like a little stabby stabby to the face right?) or partially blown apart you must BANDAGE your wounds or your stupid ass will not only bleed to death, you will leave a nice little blood trail for someone to follow and ice your pathetic n00b ass. And yes, you would deserve it! Learn from it and don't piss about it in local unless you want the wrath of an entire server down your freakin throat. Killing you like a swarm of pissed off geeks coming of a mountain dew bender, yeah not pretty.

SOUND:

I was actually impress with the first go around, hell I'm still quiet happy with sound. Firing weapons in different locations will give you different effects. Say shooting underwater, or in a stone corridor. Each weapon has it's own distinct sound, making it easy to identify what is coming down range if you can hear it, yet not see it. Ambient character sounds are what you would expect for most FPS games.
Surprisingly, the music and background sounds in each level fit very well, adding that extra touch of atmosphere to each level experience.
From the throaty cough of an SR-8 sniper rifle, to small arms chatter of AK-47's. MP5's and M-14's. Oh, did I mention the riot shotgun? One of the most enjoyable ways to reach out and fuckin touch someone in the face. Too to tack-tack of 40cal and 9mm rounds going off, rest assured the sounds of chaos will round out the gaming experience damn near every time.

COMMUNITY:

Spotty at best, but usually pretty good depending on what time of day you are playing. Right here from my personal experience is where you can run into trouble with free games. Junior/high school kids with NOTHING better to do but A. Brag about how l33t they are while they are hacking their yet to drop nuts off. B. WTF is it with whinny BRATS! THAT CRY AND PROMISE TO CALL THEIR DAD INTO THE MIX! Are you SHITTING ME? SHUT YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH, LEARN FROM THE GAME ( You do know there is an Observe mode right? Oh!?! Didn't watch the tutorial? Well hmm, why don't you grab a nice tall glass of SHUT THE FUCK UP, go play a nice round of HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF.) A'ight now that that is off my chest. Depending on the servers you play there is actually a very strong and spirited community that welcomes all levels of talents, with fair and firm admins that are quick to hear cases, kick offending dick-muncher, and BAN those lil'shit sniffers that spend more time bitching than taking one in the ol' brown starfish for the team. Many clans have useful forum sites for tracking new maps, team stats and bans. However, I do have to bring up a downside here. BANS are bound to IP. So while effective for your average player, determined cheaters are back up and running pretty quick. One of these days, bringing back some form of PunkBuster would rectify this situation. Too be honest, I don't recall why it's not used today.

OVERALL:

A'ight so I think we've covered most of the bases here, let me know if I have not. For a free game that is still in development a tip of the hat to FrozenSands, the developers and maintainers of Urban Terror. Hands down it's one of the best overall free FPS games around. With great graphics, vibrant gameplay and overall great community of players a double thumbs up to this one. Spend hours of frag induced fun, finding fun and new ways to create trails of body part and headless corps.

Thanks for taking the time to give a look, keep a look out for my upcoming review of other FPS games including: Nexius, WarSow, Cube, Enemy Territory and more.





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Links and other shit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIeyUrOXnWQ <- Urban Terror Gameplay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrLRnLBh ... re=related <- Sniper Goodness

http://www.urbanterror.net/e107_plugins ... ?show=Maps <- Game maps overviews

http://www.urbanterror.net/e107_plugins ... ame_Action <- In game screen caps to smatter through out the review

No problem.

Is this your final version? If so could you add some pictures? Thanks.

Welcome to the site.

FRESH MEAT!!

YOU'RE A HARDASSED CYNICAL BASTARD. I LOVE YOUR STYLE MAN!!

It's nice to see a lot more people submitting reviews here. If your site gets big enough then you may want to add some review requirements to weed out any future bad reviewers. Or else CheshireCatStudios will look like ThatGuyWithTheGlasses with all of his new *talent*. Some of their new stuff is really lame so I stopped watching.