TGWTG - That Guy With The Glasses

He should update his sense of humor first.

Really the only thing that would make his fight with the video game nerd look less like a poofter-romp would be if they just stripped down and shagged.

Yeah, he has been massively hit-or-miss the last number of months. It now reaches a point where I don't have that level of anticipation I had each week, awaiting his videos, because the quality of Nostalgia Critic has seriously dropped. I mean, occasionally he will make something really worth watching like the He-Man and Commando reviews, but he will also make a massive dud like Tank Girl and Junior.

I was thinking about it during the mildly enjoyable Conan review and I realised the major problem in why the show has dipped in quality: He's not so much criticizing the review as he is doing a Mystery Science Theatre sort of deal. I mean, about half of the Ernest Saves Christmas video consisted him dubbing over the Santa Claus character.

I mean, look at the Super Mario Bros review, for instance (his best one, in my opinion):



The reason I like this one so much is because he actually critiqued the film and that was spot-on my reaction when I watched Super Mario Bros for the first time. He managed to effectively mix criticism of the film with humour. He explained exactly why it was terrible in a humourous way. He doesn't do that anymore.

I still watch, because he still hasn't reached awful levels of awful yet, but compare his videos from late 2009 to his ones in 2008 and early 2009 and you will see a massive difference in consistency.

A-friggin'-men to that, Estefan. I was obsessed when he first came out, and his reviews were ones I'd constantly watch. He criticized a movie, and told us why it was bad. Now, as you said, he's just trying to riff it instead. It gets to the point where he was more obnoxious than Ernest prolly was in Ernest Saves Christmas. The first glimpse of this annoying nature we see today was when he discussed Saved By The Bell, and 5 minutes of the video was him crying for the duck. That segment was about as drawn out as any of the Distressed Atheist's jokes in ANY of his videos.

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

It's not even that, he's forcing humor. If he did a Mystery Science on his reviews at least he would keep pace with the video but he deliberately stops a review dead in its tracks to squeeze in a bullshit skit like the SuperCrapAFuckALicious song or whatever. The Critic reminds me of that fucking horrible G4 network where their video game reviews get 'guest celebrities' where you have a cutout headshot of Tom Cruise laughing maniacally. Its like someone writes a funny skit about a monkey playing with a yo-yo and they try to wedge it into a review of Nightmare on Elm Street. Just like fucking FAMILY GUY.

He and everyone on that site are the bastard offspring of an ADD culture raised by Saturday morning cartoons. That's what he really is. A cartoon. An annoying one. Like Spongebob Squarepants.

Old School-Spongebob or New-School where all likability is thrown out the window and the show becomes unbelievably annoying?

there's a difference?

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The series is dedicated to analyzing and eviscerating tasteless low-budged B-grade knock-offs of more popular and expensive Hollywood flicks - Mockbusters. CineMax is an amateur, yet aspiring movie critic, who makes comedic video reviews, writes insightful and analytical articles, and, occasionally just blabbers about stuff he deems important.

A subtle yet important difference .

qft

It was a ren and stimpy knock off that still sucked.

Yeah, I would have definitely settled for Ren and Stimpy over Spongebob any day. The latter was just more tolerable at a certain point than he is now, where even small kids question the sanity of Nickelodeon for keeping the damn thing on air when it's been around for a whole decade. That's waaaaay past the average animated television show's lifespan.

Good morning, haters

I agree with a lot of the comments, but instead of writing lists of "WHY TGWTG SUCKZ" why don't we write something like "How TGWTG can be BETTER'? I'll start:


#1 - KEEP THE REVIEW FLOWING SMOOTHLY
NO GIMMICKS! NO SONG INTERLUDES! NO DERAILERS!!

A good observation, and that'd probably cut out 1/2 of his annoyance factor (and about 3/4 of his show's running time). Some jokes involving a 'counter' are funny, but the 'Elephant', 'Big-lipped Alligator Moment' and 'Chuck Norris' weren't funny the first time and still aren't. Why do you keep doing them? But now you have brand-spanking new shitty jokes that come from left-field: Santa Christ? Seriously? From Star Wars and Bea Arthur to Santa Christ? C'mon.

That is probably why I like Benzaie and Spoony more than the Critic: though they are comical, they at least stay on subject with their jokes and don't need to do really retarded gimmicks like grunting like gorillas (Congo review), playing Stephen Hawking (Alone in the Dark) or breaking out in song (the end of Batman and Robin).

Well, actually Benzaie has the new Berry and Ben skits... and Spoony seems to only vlogs for an hour on end about the movies he watches...

TGWTG, you're dead to me.


#2 - QUIT RE-HASHING YOUR JOKES.
Again: 'Elephant', 'Big-lipped Aligator Moment' and 'Chuck Norris' weren't funny the first time and still aren't. Why do you keep trying to squeeze blood from a rock or beat a dead horse? New material please.


#3 - QUIT IT WITH THE "A-WHAAAAA??" BIT.
THE most annoying thing he does. He tries to be cynical and express his 'disbelief' over something 'surprising' but instead of actually being witty ala Oscar Wilde or any great comedian, he just goes "A-whaa? A-wha-a-wha-a-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" It's not funny, it's damned annoying.


#4 - CALM THE FUCK DOWN, YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THE ANIMANIACS
You act like an over-animated like a 7 year old sitting down to Saturday morning cartoons after having a bowl of sugar-coated cocaine. Everything results in a total fit of screaming, crying, and gun-violence that just makes you look like a douche. If you're not throwing a fit, even the most mild reaction results in an over-animated acting binge.


#5 - WEED OUT THE SHITTY CONTRIBUTORS TO YOUR SITE!!
On the net, content is king, but some of your new shows are GOD AWEFUL. I'm looking specifically at GAME HEROES (aka the most fuck-boring show of three fratboys and a hairy midget making bullshit lists about crap they don't fucking know anything about. I know that Handsome Tom was a founder of Screwattack, but his Game Heroes show BLOWS. Game Heroes automagically happened to release a near mirror-image identical review of "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties ONE DAY before the AVGN was supposed to have his aired, but the site couldn't post it because of 'tech issues'? Suspicious?? Also, HOW COULD YOU HAVE A 'TOP 10 VIDEO GAME CLOWNS AND NOT EVEN MENTION KEFKA (Final Fantasy 6)? They don't know what the fuck they talk about and that's why they fail.)

Back on subject, I can't find a damn thing on your site worth watching anymore. It's like digging through dogturds to find a quarter: not worth the hassle. I'll just subscribe to Benzaie and Spoony's youtube accounts, I don't need your Game Heroes, Distressed Watcher, or any of your new retarded shows.


#6 - QUIT BEING A HYPOCRITE
When something annoys you in a movie you're reviewing you're quick to call the kettle black. For example, for every bizarre facial expression that you crucify Ernest movies for doing, you have 3 Big-lipped Alligator Moments, 2 'A-whaaa?'s, and one fit of gun violence. Another prime example is your Willy Wanka (Johnny Depp version vs old) when Depp was being annoying and you're quick to roll your eyes. That's how we feel when we watch you.


#7 - STOP IT WITH THE CAMEOS!!
We all know you got your foot in the door by being buddy-buddy with the AVGN, that's simple. But how many cameos and cross-overs did you and the members of your site (Benzaie and Spoony included) have you done already? Sure, I liked seeing the Critic, Spoony and Linkara bash "Alone in the Dark"... until I had to hear it. The humor doesn't mix well (and also see #1 NO GIMMICKS thing in regards to your 'Stephen Hawking' bit. Goddamn.)


#8 - MORE 5 SECOND MOVIES
I know you got raped by YouTube and the film industry for these, but they are still your best work. I could seriously sit and watch the 5 Second Titanic and 5 Second Rocky I-VI videos for an entire day, they're still that funny and dare I say 'brilliant'?



Feel free to add to the list. I think it'd be a great irony if we got a Top 11 out of this...