The Best and Worst Games on the Playstation Network (Playstation 3)

#10 - The Last Guy

The story is that you are ‘The Last Guy’ and your goal is to navigate the streets of major cities after an apocalyptic event, find survivors and bring them to the Evacuation Zone, all while avoiding zombies, mutant insects, and all sorts of horrible monstrosities. The catch is that you are navigating REAL CITIES. Using Google Maps technologies, you navigate your character from a bird’s-eye perspective that just looks and feels awe-inspiring. While the Google maps are extremely highly detailed, the majority of the graphics are fairly simple and the music is fair. However, the gameplay is ADDICTIVE. The biggest clincher for me was getting bonus points for having a larger following of survivors (akin to the game ‘Snake’ where the snake gets longer the more apples it eats). However, the more survivors you have following you, the harder it is to manage them and keep them clear of enemies. IGN rated The Last Guy as its Editor’s Choice because of its unique and addicting gameplay and I agree fully.

#9 - Burn Zombies Burn!

You can kill the 1000 zombies on your screen with flamethrowers, machine guns, shotguns, and all sorts of nasty weapons; it’s like an arcade version of ‘Dead Rising’, but its violence is toned down in favor of crazy 80’s-style arcade gameplay that can be the only thing you and your friends will ever want to play. The graphics are cartoony, but the frame-rate stays high, even with bits and parts of 1000s of zombies are flying all over your television screen. To be honest, I haven’t played much of this game yet, but from what I have played at a friend’s house, it was addicting enough to warrant a purchase.

#8 - Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty

The sequel to Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction. Ratchet's robot sidekick, Clank, has disappeared and it's up to you to find him while keeping space pirates at bay. For $29.99 you don’t get some measly ‘arcade game’ that will keep you happy for an hour. No, you get a FULL Ratchet and Clank game. The 'Pixar-perfect' graphics are improved over Tools of Destruction, and for those of you who have seen the beautifully rendered, highly detailed and well animated graphics of that game in HD, you know it is a damn impressive feat. The music and sound are just as good as R&C:ToD, as are the jokes and the bizarre weaponry at your disposal. A Must Buy for those who bought R&C:ToD.

#7 - PixelJunk Monsters

My brother is addicted to this game. Seriously, every time I go to his house, he and his wife are playing it together. Personally, I think tower defense games are boring and as frustrating as hell, but even I have been pulled in by this game’s charm. You are the leader of a tribe that is being attacked by waves of monsters, and it is your job to defend your people by setting arrow towers, cannons, flamethrowers, lasers, and hosts of other weapons to stay alive. While the graphics are 2D and cartoonish, they are crisp and colorful, and beautiful on an HD Television. Violence is nearly non-existent so it is a very family friendly game.

#6 - Warhawk

The biggest online game currently on the Playstation Network. While available in retail, you can save $20 by purchasing the game online for $39.99. Warhawk is an amazing war game where players can pilot futuristic aircrafts. You can barrel-roll, loop-the-loop, and u-turn yourself to victory in one of the best dog-fighting games on the market. You don’t want to fly? Then man a turret, drive a tank, or run on foot in FPS. Controls are remarkably smooth (with options to use the SixAxis controls in a way that even further shames the bomb, ‘Lair’), the graphics are very detailed, and online play is seamless. Expansion packs are available, and they give players new maps and vehicles. If you are a die-hard online gamer, give Warhawk a chance.

#5 - Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection

The King of the Iron Fist Tournament makes a comeback on the Playstation 3. The release is a High Definition rehash of Tekken 5 but with the addition of two new characters: Some spoiled princess, and a Russian militant who looks like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Michael Jackson. Fans of fighting games owe it to themselves to pick up this title because not only are the graphics in High Def, but because the game itself is a bargain at $19.95. Yup, the FULL Tekken 5 game in High Def for $20. The only downside is that Online Multiplayer was in its infancy on the Playstation, so the Tekken Online Expansion Pack was created, and that will run you an extra $9.99. Unless you are a hardcore Tekken fan, I would skip the Online Pack and spend the $10 on the upcoming Tekken 6.

#4 - High Velocity Bowling

High Velocity Bowling is the Playstation 3’s response to Wii Bowling, and in all honesty I believe it THRASHES the Wii with its motion controls. The premise is simple: It’s bowling. However, not only are the controls fluid, but the controller fits comfortably in your hand, mimicking the fingering of a real bowling ball. The physics engine is much more advanced than the simple ‘pin physics’ in Wii Bowling. The pins fall, spin, and flip in a way that looks and feels more natural, and controlling the direction of the ball I find EASIER in HVB. The only beef I have with HVB are the characters. There are initially around eight or ten unique characters, each with their own abilities (accuracy, curve, and speed), however once you obtain the higher-skilled characters by beating them in single-player mode, you never again use the older characters because they never get any better.

Additional characters can be purchased on the PSN for about $1 each, however when you buy them you only see what they look like, and you know nothing about their skills until after the purchase. The extra characters offer more variety, but most of them have such mediocre stats that you play them, laugh at whatever stereotype they are supposed to represent (Black wanna-be gangsters, gay male flight attendants, Mexican midgets, a trailer trash bimbo, etc), and then go back to playing the better characters, Carl and Hero. A quick tip: The only characters really worth buying are Mike (the Mexican midget) and Bruce (the gay flight attendant) because their skills are high enough to be useful in beating the game. Off my rant, High Velocity Bowling is one of the few games friends and family will actually play because it has an easy learning curve. Graphics are good, character voices are annoying the 3rd time you hear them, music is a non-issue because you can use your own tunes, and the gameplay is EXTREMELY HIGH. A great party game, or a nice game to play with non-gamers to burn time. I highly recommend it, but buyer beware with the downloadable characters.

#3 - Super Stardust HD

The most loved game on the PSN, Playstation fanboys like to call Super Stardust HD ‘Sony’s response to Geometry Wars’. SSHD is an arcade-style shooter where the left control stick pilots the ship and the right stick fires in all directions. The premise is that you are on a 3D globe and it is being bombarded by asteroids and alien space ships. You combat these attacks by power up between three unique weapons: Gold Melter the flame thrower; Ice Breaker the rapid fire weapon that reaches the farthest; and Rock Crusher the spreadshot weapon. New to the genre is a Boost function that allows you to plow your way through obstacles unharmed, however the gauge refills at a moderate pace so it can’t be whored out. The main catch of the game is that to best destroy your enemies, you have to match the enemy type to your weapon. Enemies that are red and the asteroids of gold are easily destroyed by the Gold Melter, blue enemies and ice are destroyed by the Ice Breaker, and green enemies and normal asteroids are destroyed by the Rock Crusher. Failing to coordinate your attack with the appropriate enemy will only make killing the enemy harder, whereas destroying the asteroids with the wrong weapon will increase debris and make the level more dangerous.

Ever since the release of the Solo and Multiplayer Expansion Packs, Super Stardust HD has received an upgrade in both graphics and with the music, bringing the package to an ever higher level of quality than it was previous. With its addictive and endless gameplay coupled with an outstanding presentation, Super Stardust HD and at LEAST the Solo Pack are essential for any Playstation 3 owner.

#2 - Siren: Blood Curse

I have never been more terrified while playing a video game in my entire life. I shit you not. Siren: Blood Curse is a standard at which all future horror games MUST be measured. What Resident Evil 5 lost in pure horror, Siren makes up for it in spades. The story begins on August 3, 2007 and focuses on an American television crew that arrives in Japan to investigate and document the legend of Hanuda, a "vanished village" where human sacrifices are said to have taken place thirty years prior. The graphics are dark and murky, much like its Survival Horror sibling, Silent Hill. However the game play is not action-based, but genuinely SURVIVAL-BASED. You don’t get a machine gun, or a pistol; no, you are using PANS, SHOVELS, and WOODEN STAKES to keep the zombie-like monstrosities at bay. The voice-acting is very good, and interestingly enough it’s in English and Japanese depending on the characters. The music, often a melancholy classical Asian lute, is EERIE AS HELL. Combined with the horrific sounds of your enemies lurking in the shadows, waiting for you, closing your eyes to stop being scared will NOT HELP.

The game is released in ‘Episodes’ and these episodes can not only get expensive, but will also EAT YOUR HARD DRIVE SPACE. The game is divided into 12 Chapters, and you buy them individually in sets of 4 for $14.99 each, OR buy the entire game for $39.99. Each individual episode is roughly 1GB each, so the grand total is roughly 12GB of your hard drive space. If you have a 20GB hard drive, you are BONED. Luckily, you do not need all 12 episodes to play the game, only the first episode (which includes the game engine) and whichever episode you are on for the time being. Back to the horror aspects, the first-person segments of the game are unequally disturbing and will likely cause a number of people to suffer heart attacks from shock and fear. It was a game so good that even Spoony loved it.

I fully intend to do a written review of this game in the future because, though I enjoyed it for the most part, I have a ton of issues with some of the story and individual missions.

#1 - Wipeout HD

Likely THE best game on the PSN. WipeOut HD is a futuristic racing game (ala ‘F-Zero’ and ‘Extreme-G’) where you pilot one of your hover ships through a futuristic race track complete with twists, turns, and some pretty crazy loops. The game is like ‘extreme rollercoaster racing’ that most closely resembles F-Zero-style play. Though the game is no where as insane with the corkscrews and loops like Extreme-G (N64), you can boost to insane speeds and blow away your competition with futuristic weaponry. The game is in FULL 1080p HD, and the graphics will make a racing game or sci-fi game lover’s eyes bleed with its crisp, highly detailed and 60fps fluid graphics. Audio is a kick-ass techno-electronic soundtrack in 5.1 surround sound. Game types include: Single Race, Tournament, Speed Lap, Time Trial, and Zone mode. Aside from single races WipeOut HD goes multiplayer with 2-Player split-screen and supports eight-player online mode. The variety in the game is a little stunted, with only eight tracks and 12 vehicles, but the whole game EXCEEDS its price of $19.99. And for those of you who want even more, the ‘WipeOut HD Fury’ Expansion Pack is available for an additional $9.99, and will provide you with eight new (much more adrenaline-pumping) tracks, 13 sleeker and faster ship models, and three new game modes including Eliminator, Zone Battle, and Detonator for use online and offline. If you have a PS3, WipeOut HD is not only the best deal, but also one of the best games to see (and hear) just how powerful your PS3 really is.