So after being violated by Enchanted Arms and in desperate need of a metal mental scrub brush to help clean out the offence that was that game; I needed to kill shit. And not just any normal way; I needed to shit down some throats, make heads explode, and take off some torso's. Thanks to the help of my forum mates who were tired of hyper masculine dudes of the west, I decided to create a new character on Borderlands with the name of Brick.
Brick is the tough guy of the group and would rather punch an enemy than shoot em. He is about the size of a NFL lineman with the personality of a Marine. TIME TO GET SOME MAN CARDS BACK BABY!!!
Set up
Borderlands is about a group of people that are hunting for the elusive Vault on the planet of Pandora. The vault is a local legend that supposedly holds advanced alien technology. So of course if you find the vault, you will become rich, powerful, and famous. You get to play one of the 4 characters that are searching for this Vault. Along the way you end up meeting and helping new people, upgrading your fighting style and weapons, and killing bad guys.
The game starts off with the trailer most of us have seen about a bus that runs over a dog looking creature while playing “Ain't no rest for the wicked by Cage the Elephant (MAN can they f**k up their video or what?) and introduces you to the 4 characters that you can pick from.
Characters
Mordecai, plays the Hunter. Basically this guy loves the long range kill so he is the sniper of the group. He specializes in the sniper gun and the repeater pistol.
Lilith plays the Siren.
The Narrator would rather her bake a cake than get off the bus. She is fragile but has a phasewalk ability allows her to temporarily enter another dimension, which renders her invisible to enemies and unable to neither damage nor take damage from her foes. She specializes in the SMG (Submachine gun) and elemental weapons.
Roland plays the Soldier. The name totally throws you off since this guy is the medic. Most the crap this dude throws out ends up healing the party or distracting the enemy (like throwing out his turret). He specializes in the Shotgun and Combat Rifle.
Brick plays Brick.
Basically this guy is a berserker. His special ability puts all his weapons away and he starts pounding on them with his fist. Not even the Narrator would make fun of him since his breath smells of blood. For some reason they had him specialize in rocket launchers. Oh, and his fist.
NPC (non-playable characters): The Narrator: The bus driver and weapons dealer for the game. He helps you out with supplying the weapons and at times comic relief. He has a thick Russian accent which helps not only with the story telling but with the story all together.
Zed: The Doctor of Firestone (the first city). Although he doesn't have his doctors license doesn't mean he doesn't know what he is doing. He runs the Shield/Health stations which you usually find better stuff laying on the ground but, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.
TK Baha: One of the First NPCs you meet. A nice guy that lives outside of Firestone but, as you leave the area to go to newer sections of the world, he dies.
Scooter: Just like in the Dukes of Hazard he has his own lingo and accent. Half the time I don't even think he knows what the hell he is saying. The voice actor for this guy had tons of fun with him since he was probably trying to think of off the wall shit to say with this guy. He is the mechanic and vehicle dealer.
Patricia Tannis: One of the almost crazy researchers that have stayed on Pandora. She helps you get together the pieces of key to the vault.
Gameplay
The controls of this game are not instinctive. If you have been playing Halo all the time and decide to pick this game up it will throw you for a loop. You can change the controls around to be close to Halo but it ends up being more of a pain in the ass then just learning their set up. Once you get use to the set up it does make sense but don't plan on picking back up Halo and expect to be playing at your level prior to playing Borderlands.
The travel in game is really good. They make the vehicles free which means that you don't have to worry about the next mob blowing it up and frees up your travel time to go between places and get your quest/missions done. They even have an area devoted to the vehicle where you have to blow up the enemy vehicles. So there is some vehicle to vehicle destruction derby going on but, after the second level most the time traveling is done by the new-u stations which are basically transport devices since the third area pretty much tells you to walk you happy fat ass.
This also is a RPG of sorts. They have slapped on a leveling system along with a skill tree for you to go along with. Although the skill tree is fun to learn and you can end up finding the best build for your play style, the leveling system is total bull shit. They put a cap on when you can use what weapons but since you are 5 levels lower then a mob, they only thing you will do is piss it off and die quickly.
If anyone has played World of Warcraft you will be familiar with the loot system Borderlands has. A white weapon is very common. Green is less common, Blue is rare, Purple is more Rare, Yellow, Orange, then light blue being the most rare of all. It also means that the level of the gun should go up as well. For example: if my character is level 5, a green weapon should be what a normal level 6 guy would use as a white weapon, a blue would be level 7, yellow - level 8, orange - level 9, and light blue level - 10. At any time you play with more than one player your loot gets better. It helps you want to get a full party together online or play with a friend so you can have better loot. The better the loot, the less times you would have to replace it (in theory).
But, in actuality; if you have an orange weapon at level 15 and try and take a level 20 mob with it; you will fail, die and respawn. Go up one level with the same weapon and you make the mob your prison bitch. So while you might have a weapon delivered to you from the gods, you are still the little bitch that gets his ass beat like you just got put in the UFC octagon off the street. Really, if you are going to put in a weapon that has god like qualities for its level, does it really matter what level you are as long as you are smart enough to point the thing and pull the trigger?
Even though they have a retard proof color code for the weapons, the retards programming the weapons failed to follow the color code. You will have to check carefully between the loot that you get since they will consider a scope on your shotgun an upgrade but it will deal less damage. So you could have a green shotgun that does 50 * 9 damage and have a purple shotgun that does 45 * 9 damage but, it has a 3 times scope. LIKE I'M GOING TO F**KING SNIPE WITH A SHOTGUN! The f**ktards that came up with the level systems for the guns forgot to make sure that the upgrade was actually useful for the gun.
They also decide to mess with the magazine size of every weapon. The theory behind it is that the less shots it can do in a mag, the more damage it will do. Once again the f**ktards behind the programming failed to look at real weapons to see how things are done. Just because I have a 10 round mag to a weapon doesn't mean I cant find a mag that can hold more. Not only that but all rounds are the same size. You don't have to worry about getting a .50 cal bullet or a .556 round. All bullets are for their type of weapon. A SMG round is for ANY SMG riffle and a shotgun round is for ANY shotgun. Therefore the mag for any weapon should not change since they all are the same caliber.
I am surprised by the lack of enemies or in better terms the lack of the variety of enemies. I have a whole world to shoot up but really only a hand full of types of enemies.
Enemies
Bandit Humans: Whether they be gun-toting or want your pound-of-flesh mad men, 90% of the time you are fighting these bandits on Pandora.
Skags. Nothing says alien like a dog looking pet that can swallow your head in one bite.
Scythid: Underground slugs that can jump on your face or explode. Different, only located in a few spots around the game, and annoying as f**k.
Spider Ants: Giant 4 legged insects that attack you in various ways. Can come in different sizes to small, medium, and f**king huge!
Crab Worms: No, not what you found off your slutty friend. They are a mix in-between a scorpion front and a worm. This is another enemy that you see on a rare occasion.
Guardians: the Alien race that is guarding the way to the vault. When first you see them they are fast and have strong shields but they fall easily.
Rakk: When I looked at this enemy I though: "wow, this is what a pterodactyl on crack looks like?". They dive at you in groups and when you fight their hive, it looks like you are fighting a giant pussy with four legs. At least its not a dick.
Crimson Lance Humans: Finally some harder enemies to take down. For the longest time in game it feels like you are a bandit hunter and nothing more. These guys can't melee worth shit but they are harder to kill since they are armored up the ass, sometimes they carry shields, and almost always drop their scorpion turrets to heal one another.
Bosses
At the beginning of the game the bosses are all bandits and almost all the time there is a funny saying at the start of the fight like when you have to go fight 9-toes. At the beginning of the fight it does a little stop scene explaining who it is and then something funny. Like:
-or-
Near the end of the game it feels like gearbox was in a hurry to get this game done so the humor has flown out the window and the stop scene is just an announcement of what boss you are fighting. They just gave up trying to please you, they already know that you are hooked.
What irks me about the last boss of the bandits though is the drug reference. It really goes through the whole game without one mention of drugs until you get to this guy. Really?! You have to mention the thing is in mouth is medicinal and couldn't just leave it as a cigarette? And how is that funny compared to the rest of the bosses that I went through?
Sound
Just like most games out today, it does not have a soundtrack worth listening to. In fact if it's not the beginning or end credits I don't recall any music. However the voice acting is AWESOME! Your characters love talking shit for you and what's even better is when you drop your specials. Since the special attacks are usually on a 1 minuet cool down you get to use them as often as you like. So for Brick you can build him to ALWAYS use his fist. Which also means that you go around the fight laughing like a mad man while making peoples grapes pop like they were full of TNT.
Graphics
Borderlands does not go for life like graphics but stays with cell shading. It's a good thing because now this game can age for a long time while still looking good. The cut scenes keep along the same lines as the normal graphics in game and the game flows smoothly.
A big disappointment besides the scenery (I get it, it supposed to look like crap) is that you are supposedly on an entire planet but it feels very small. I think the entire game has about 7 different areas that you visit and almost all of it looks the same. Desert. The really sad part of it is that they keep it going through the downloadable content too. If a key to the vault was spread over the world you think you might actually have to do some traveling to get there? maybe find a different area that doesn't look like the crack house in the middle of death valley?
Even though the programmers had a whole planet to mess with, there was not a whole lot of imagination put in to making it: desert with rusted and degraded mining equipment that is laying all around. Makeshift huts made of scrap metal and mountains of trash laying all around. I guess that is the type of world they are going for but it doesn't make it much to look at.
Replay
I do have all the DLC's for the game (which I will get into later) and despite all that has been said about the game above I do have two characters at or above level 59 (it goes to 61). So as far as replay ability goes that should say enough that the game is worth keeping around to play over and over again. After you finish the game the first time around you can go and play it again one more time. If you want you can quit before the last fight of the game on the second walk through and do the missions that you missed to get better loot. Its often called the 2.5 play through since the enemies are maxed out on the level of difficulty (level 48-54). It also means better loot.
The game is challenging enough for the first time around and because the game tries to match your level to give you a challenge the second (or third) time around can get more challenging. You also have a hard time trying to collect weapons that are your level unless you go hack them.
Multiplayer
Now I don't know if Gearbox is new to the multiplayer thing with Xbox or if they just don't give a rats ass but judging from some of the other titles they have made (Half life, Halo: Combat Evolved, Brothers in Arms, Counterstrike) I'm going to take a guess that they just don't give a rats ass for multiplayer for the Xbox cause its all kinds of f**kered up.
You buy the game and if any of your buds own the game you can play online with them. Just like any normal multiplayer that I have played so there's really no harm in it. The thing is if you have a friend that is sitting with you and he wants to play too. That's ok too cause you can play two players on the same screen/game.
Now, try to have a friend over and you want to play online. Tough shit bud, you let your friend watch you play online. For some f**ked up reason they decided that if you are playing online that your buds must be at their house and can play along there. It also means that if you have friends online that wants to play with your bud over at your place its too bad since there is only one person allowed to play online at one time.
Downloadable Content (DLC)
The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned:
And here is where all the humor talent went to. . . and zombies! Just the start of this DLC puts you back in the mood to do some zombie killing. You can visit this pretty much at any time and the good thing about it is that it matches your level when you first get in. so if you want good loot, don't start the thing till you are done with the next two DLC's then come back for a challenge. Other than having a pretty good add on to the story line the only thing this adds is zombies. And what FPS game is complete without zombies?
Mad Moxxi's Underdome:
The introduction of Mad Moxxi, more arena content, and a bank. This was more of an afterthought of Borderlands cause this SHOULD HAVE COME WITH THE GAME!!! What RPG doesn't have some form of carrying a lot of shit? You should be able to keep some swag for other players, new players for you, or just in case you want to mix it up a bit. Completing the Underdomes mission gives you an extra skill point and you have some achievements' to get here but there is no humor, no adventure, and no point. Only get this if you want the bank. Other than that its not worth it.
The Secret Armory of General Knoxx:
Ever watch Phenias and Ferb? Any of you feel like you want to take the general out of there and fight him? Well, here is your chance! This is by FAR my favorite DLC because I was laughing anytime this General Knoxx came online! Its tough to take a guy serious when all he does is bitch about the admiral and wants you to take your own life. He then gripes about having to kill you since you won't be “cool enough” to do it yourself. They also give Scooter a well deserved intro and better lines / dialog to go along with your missions. Mad Moxxi actually serves a purpose other than showing off her cleavage line by tossing missions your way, one of them involves taking out one of her ex husbands. They also introduce Athena (who has a bounty on her head, apparently bigger than yours) that I just want to shove my boot in pie hole for the way she talks to you in game. She even leaves you in the middle of a fight after you SAVE HER LIFE!!!
Besides raiding the armory of General Knoxx (there is a glitch in the wall where you can loot to your hearts content) they also introduce the toughest mob of the game: Crawmerax the invincible. He is a pain in the ass to fight since you can only hit him in his week points but, it's a fun challenge. Although he drops the highest level gear in the game, it doesn't do you shit since the loot system is jacked. I still have level 57 green weapons that do more damage than orange weapons of a higher level of the same type.
OVERALL
There are a lot of bad things that I have said about the game and most of these things should have been taken care of before the game came out. However, I still find my self playing this game because it is fun.
Graphics
8.0
Cell shading is what it is. I don't expect it to be outstanding but at least it will stand up to time. This helps the gameplay run smoothly.
Sound
7.0
Even though I love hearing Brick say “It's fist time!” when he is out of ammo, there is no music, and nothing really memorable.
Gameplay
5.0
Good lord, with all that is wrong with the little things of the game it really pulls down this score. Loot, level differences, and lack of enemies pull this down to just ordinary.
Story
5.0
How do you screw up the story line? Go check out the ending cause I wont spoil it for you. Oh, that you start to not care about the boss intro's and just kind of leave it half-assed all around.
Replay Value
9.0
With all the DLC and challenges to have with it, it is still a fun game to pick up and play.
Multiplayer
3.0
Seriously people, copy Halo, they seem to have it down. Don't try and fix or find something new cause not being able to play 4 people on my system OR not being able to have another person play on my system and go online is RETARDED. I for one will not bitch if I see it other places cause IT WORKS.
OVERALL
6.5
Don't let the small things run you off from a good game that you can have fun with. It's the 86er (what do you mean you are done?)
There is a fourth expansion pack Robot Revolution coming soon about evil
claptraps and gearbox is releasing a GOTY edition of Borderlands that has
all four expansions included. I love Borderlands and I hope they make an
even better sequel some day.
General Zod
07 Sep 2010, 18:56
Gearbox’s Randy Pitchford revealed that they are going to release a
"free update to Borderlands that will both rebalance the original game
around the level cap and increase the level cap for everyone."
Pitchford said that the update will increase the level cap to 69 as
compared to the previous cap of 61. It will be out sometime in October 12
with the release of the game-of-the-year edition of the game. In addition,
he also revealed that the latest downloadable content pack for the game,
Claptrap's New Robot Revolution, will be released on September 28 for US$
10.
ChairmanLmao
13 Nov 2010, 20:23
lollers, was this written by some 12-year old Counterstrike retard? HERF
DERF WY SHOT GAN HAF SCOPE? GRR WHY I NOT PWN ENMEMIS.
It's a cheapo Fallout knockoff with multiplayer, sorry you've got too
many chromosomes to understand this. Next time get your big brother to
write the review for ya.
X_SWORDFISH_X
15 Nov 2010, 12:05
Was this comment written by some 12 year old Fallout fag? HERF DERF, WHY U
HAVE NO Y CHROMOSOME NUTLETSS N00B! DUR HUR YOU CAN'T R MAKING GOODER
ARGUMENT FAG.
If Borderlands is a cheapo Fallout game, but with multiplayer, then that
automagically makes Borderlands a superior game. Sorry you don't have the
braincells to understand this. Next time actually pay someone to write an
intelligent arguement for ya.
Zimes
15 Nov 2010, 12:48
While I have not played Fallout I cannot comment or compare between the
two. while I have heard good things about the game I wont compare
Borderlands to a game I have not played (yet). It would just make it seem
that I am some retard that has diarrhea of the keyboard and spews whatever
comes out of my 12 year old mind. Oh wait. that right, I didnt compare it
to Fallout. that would be your dumbass (chairman).
Do the world a favor and actually read (or learn how to) before your
diarrhea takes over.
seriously though: what is the point of having a scope on a shot gun? have
you ever fired a gun? do you not know what a shotgun is used for? I take
it you have never shot a gun in real life?
And before you try and bullshit your way through, I have shot many guns,
been trained how to take them apart and put them back together, and teach
people how to use guns safely.
LaughingMan
16 Nov 2010, 12:17
ChairmanLMAO = Troll Fail LOLZ.
Wow, that was pretty pathetic all around, ChairmanLMAO, but your epic
failure was trying to call Zimes out on the shotgun + scope rant. There's
no goddamn use for a scope on a shotgun; not in real life, or in a game.
How could you not have the common (gun)sense to know that? What, are you
from French Canada or something? *Looks up IP Address*
... Oh, well that explains it then.
Daniel B
13 Jan 2011, 09:48
Borderlands was one of the surprise sleeper games that looked like a
generic space shooter when it was announced in a cutscene that wasn't
cellshaded. The cellshading adds a shit load of charisma to a boring as
fuck desert trailerpark of a world and I was pissed off that there was no
water level expansion like in the posters you see in the General Knoxx
expansion pack. If GearBox gets its head out of the sand, among other
places, they should make more than one world that you can kill shit on.
Teo Marsetti
25 Jan 2011, 03:14
This game is fucking BORING!
zimes
20 Apr 2011, 12:16
I got the Robot revolution x-pac but I have yet to play it. I will let you
know how it goes.
LaughingMan
07 Sep 2011, 12:15
Borderlands was a sleeper hit and it's one of the very few games that
hooked me so much that I earned a Platinum PS3 Trophy. HOWEVER, Borderlands
has a lot of 'fetch' missions where you walk to point A, then point B,
then back to A, then to C, then back to A, AND I HATE THAT. Borderlands
also gets very repetitive and trite at times (similar missions, same
enemies, identical locations, crap/lack of music, etc), but the RPG
leveling elements and skill trees keeps you wanting to keep playing. I
personally HATED the General Knoxx pack because you had to drive for 10
minutes to accomplish anything, instead of just spawning in a location like
the main game. For the love of God, KEEP SPLIT SCREEN COOP because it's
one of the few games out there that you can still play with friends on a
couch, and I'll happily PASS on Boarderlands 2 if 'couch coop' isn't
included.
Give me lots of guns, an expansive world to explore, skill trees, enemy
variety, and other popular RPG elements like the first Borderlands, and
I'll see you back on Pandora.
LaughingMan
07 Sep 2011, 12:36
To clarify: One thing that drives me crazy is you meet character 1 at point
A, then you go to point B to do something like grab a dead battery, then go
back to point A. Then you unlock the next required mission, which is taking
the charged battery back to point B then returning once again to point A.
I'd rather go in succession like A, B, and C, then finally return to A.
I know you can cash in all at once after completing multiple optional
missions, but a lot of the required storymode missions do that A to B, B to
A, A back to B, back to A crap
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Borderlands Review
