From Sony Electronics, the "Playstation Move" is designed for two things: "Motion" and "Accessibility". From the narrow, easy grip shaft to the subtle vibration features, Sony is determined to give you a better experience with its Move over Nintendo's tried-and-true, and aptly named, "Wii".

Losing the Big "Wii"

Many of you girl gamers remember your first time with the Wii. It was an exciting time when curiosity and peer pressure managed to get the better of you, and despite your attempts to put Wii's out of your mind, it was the surreal sensation of exploring the unknown depths of human experience that triumphed. But the little Japanese Wii was also new to the game, and despite its best efforts to please you by waggling awkwardly, the time spent was short and (while exciting and somewhat gratifying) the experience was ultimately lacking. Over time, the Wii got better at satisfying your needs, trying new inventive ways to keep your attention, but your time with it was still severely limited to several fifteen minute intervals of enjoyment. Like most women, you felt the need to expand your horizons and despite your appreciation for the times you spent together, it was ultimately time to find fulfillment elsewhere. This time you craved something that the little Japanese Wii couldn't accomplish: 

You needed "Depth" and a little more "Stamina".

On the Move

Sony Electronics has been a trusted electronics brand by consumers for decades, and it is not surprising that the technology giant has set its eyes on stimulating thousands of female gamers who, despite their devotions to their Wii's, are in need of something with a little more "umph". Unlike the Nintendo Wii, the Sony's Playstation Move is designed for achieving a greater sense of "depth", which in turn allows your play time to include a greater sensation of realism, and an even greater range of mobility. The technology behind the Move is the Playstation Eye, a camera device that loves to watch you get it on. The PS Eye was developed during the Playstation 2 era that would track a user's movements, and thereby replace the need for a controller. Sound familiar, Microsoft?

The Playstation Eye then determines the distance of the controller from the television based on the perceived size of the glowing head of the Move. Whether you are pushing or pulling, thrusting or gyrating, the Playstation Move will open you up to a greater variation of uses and a wider array of fun positions.

No Return Address

My Playstation Move arrived on my doorstep in an unmarked cardboard box, and after I removed it from its proud clear plastic packaging and placed the Move in my palm, I first noticed the size and the weight of the device.  At just under 8" long and 5oz heavy, holding the Move felt... natural, like it had always been like a part of me. In contrast to the awkward, uncomfortable shape of a Wii, I'm confident that the thick, weighty, rounded feel of the Playstation Move is guaranteed to feel comfortable in even the most fragile and feminine of gamer girl hands. However, the weight of the device may prove daunting to some girls who have been out of practice with motion gaming, and some soreness and muscle fatigue should be expected. I suggest slow stretching before getting too physical with a Playstation Move. In addition to the weight, the size of the head may throw off your game. If you were to take a tailor's tape measure, you would need to find the 6-inch mark, and then loop the tape together and you’ll see how thick the base of the head is. It may not seem like that much, but for some of you uninitiated ladies, it could be a lot to take in.

With its comfortable size and sturdy build, there's no reason for gamer girls not to be anxious to get home, light a lavender candle, and spend an hour (or two!) on the Playstation Move.

Length: 7.8” (200mm)
Thickness of the Head: At it’s thickest point, it measures 1.8” (46mm) wide which is a little thicker than a golf ball.
Thickness of the Shaft:  About 1.5” wide not including “trigger”.
Weight: 5oz (145g).
Extras: A wrist strap to make up for poor grip along the shaft.

PlayStation®Move motion controller Specs
Three-axis gyroscope
Three-axis accelerometer
Terrestrial magnetic field sensor
Colour-changing sphere for Playstation Eye tracking
Bluetooth® technology
Vibration feedback

Who is Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch?

And now for the $1000 answer: "Such a Good Vibration".

While using the Move you ladies will find the vibration feature to be, for better or for worse, not exactly up to par with a Dual Shock. While the Dual Shock makes for a much more intense and 'weighty' experience, the vibration features of the Playstation Move seem gentler, but less awkward in the long run, making playtime a less jarring and often less numbing experience. In fact, one may compare the sensation as more of a moderate, yet precise hum, rather than the mechanical bumps and buzzing of a cell phone.

In addition to the vibration feature, the Playstation Eye has almost 3x as many buttons as a Wii controller, but since normal playtime is often a complex ordeal, it does take some practice to be able to push all of the right buttons when only using one hand. The Move also includes a "trigger", which you will find helps make playtime more straight forward and an easier, more pleasurable experience.

EAT, YOSHI! EAT!!

One noticeably missing feature that the Nintendo Wii has that the Playstation Move is lacking is the speaker within the controller itself. Anyone who has played a Wii has heard sound effects such as Yoshi's tongue-lashing, and Mario's Giant Super Mushroom, which when paired with the vibration features add another degree of kinky fantasy and makes the games cum to life. However, Sony opted out of such an option, which is a shame that you ladies will never hear Nathan Drake's voice radiating from the Move as you cock his pistol and ready him for action.

Alone in the Dark

Probably the most visually stunning is the glowing tip of the device, which can literally change to thousands of colors as demonstrated by the game, “Tumble”. Every participant is assigned a different color during play in order to avoid possibly embarrassing confusion during use with multiple partners. Such a scene would be reminiscent of the John Ritter film, "Skin Deep".

Overall

APRIL FOOLS!!