The Last Remnant - A Partial Review
(Xbox 360)

The person who programmed the save function needs to be SHOT

By Zimes

This was the first year in 4 that I was able to actually use my Christmas bonuses on me so I thought what better way to do this than to treat myself to a new system (Xbox 360) and a few games.

Now, I am the kind of guy that collects games so I play, beat, then put away to play another day so I usually have a game in mind that I want. This time I did not. I went to find some RPG's to get ideas for things I like and don’t like in a game. When picking out the games (oblivion, Marvel Alliance, and Last Remnant) I almost did not get this game. I had another game I was looking at but, after taking a closer look at The Last Remnant it looked more like a Pokémon RPG than a decent game so I took this one.

At first glance at the back of this cover you could easily mistake this for a street fighter type game. There is a huge bar at the top of the screen that looks like health and a character that is fighting another character. After closer inspection and a tip from the clerk I was eager to try this game. I don’t know how far I am in the game; I just know that I am not yet to disk 2. So this review is based off of what I have gone through so far.

There is not too much going on when you start this game. You get a title screen and decent music. You start The Last Remnant much like any other and it goes right to a cut scene that gets you involved right away (OH NOES! MY SISTER HAS BEEN TAKEN!!!). Even though the plot is decent there are still times that you want to reach up and slap the screen writer since there are parts that do make you question what the hell he was thinking. At one time you mistake your young sister (17 maybe) from far away and who has never seen battle for a 41 year old veteran woman warrior. And because of it you throw yourself into the fray of the battle in hopes of rescuing her.

So far there hasn't been more of the dumb story line twist where you mistake your sister for a 40 year old woman, and The Last Remnant has a really good story line. So good in fact that it keeps me playing. The Last Remnant did not go with the typical races that you see in a RPG but, created their own which are unique and sometimes gay (I got my ass beat by a bunch of mutant rabbits). Of course with custom races come custom names and even specific weapons that these guys can use. All races are humanoid (meaning arms, legs, heads, opposable thumbs) and it looks like there are at least 3 more humanoid races (could be 4 but, not playable. at least from where I am at). One looks like a cross between a human, rabbit, and a frog. another looks like a cross between a lion fish and a human, and the other looks like a cross between a bat, cat, and human but, has four arms (which they don’t do much with the other set of arms, they just keep them crossed unless fighting).

Graphics are good in The Last Remnant too. Even when you are running around the environment is pretty enough to stop and take a look at. As far as customization of characters, the only thing you get to choose is if they are holing a 1-handed weapon and shield, a 2-handed weapon, or 2 1-handed weapons. You don’t get to change the look of you armor or anything so your toon looks the same no matter in battle or out. They didn’t do much with the customization of the NPC's (non playable characters) even if they are in your party. Most all races have about 3 different platforms for which they look like, male and female. Even your victory stance will be the same as one of the toons in your party if you are equipped the same.

The Last Remnant did an awesome job expanding how many people you can have in your party. Of course they control how many you can have at any time (which sucks). So sometimes you can be really out-gunned by the mobs. When you are finally maxed out you can have around 25 people in your party. None of The Last Remnant's set up makes for good multi player which they have left out all together. You are playing this solo.

The controls are nice. Not too hard to get use to and easy to get around what you need to do. You can also save at any point which is also nice and very much needed in this game. The weapons are not based on finding the newest and greatest but; it’s to find the components you need to build your current weapon better. You can still change your weapon type but, there is a smaller selection to choose from. This is about all the nice stuff I can say about this game and its starting to make me sick.

Game play SUCKS. Not just oh, it can be decent if . . Stop right there, it plain flat out is the worst game play I have ever experienced. Despite the fact that you can organize your crew into certain formations and choose if they attack with magic or combat arts: YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT YOUR CHARACTERS DO!!! Out of 25 people you would think that it would be impossible to kill you but it happens. You usually get to choose 4 types of attacks when you fight and unless you kill your opponent your moral for the entire team goes down. Which means: you miss your attack all together, you don’t hit as hard as you should, or you get jumped without being able to counter attack.

Right now in The Last Remnant I am limited to 3 groups of 3. Out of those groups all people have combat arts, and magic spells at their disposal. Unless you KNOW how much energy each attack will use you do not know what will happen. You could get the “end all bitches” spell or you could get the “piss them off” hit that will cause them to turn around and END YOU! It is very random and you cannot even control if you are going to heal the group that needs it the most.

When you choose what your group will do you are actually choosing what your group leader will do. Others might follow suit but, usually just try and tickle the enemy; leaving you open to counter, flank, and rear attacks.

No matter what you do, you will never be able to surprise attack your enemy. You will never hit first, and in most cases the enemy will choose how it will attack you DESPITE the time bending artifact that you almost always use to initiate combat (basically you stop time). In fact, if you don’t initiate the attack, you will be jumped. And it’s not the nice kind either. It’s the find a 6-foot-spiked-pole-and-shove-it-in-your-ass-sideways jumped. Leaving you with maybe: a group with no healer and no way to resurrect the rest of your comrades.

The fights are all based on luck. You can find a rare monster that is probably 20 to 50 levels above you and beat the crap out of him. You can also find monsters that are 50 levels below you and get the crap kicked out of you. Since you have no control over what your party does: it is all up to the computer to decide to be nice to you or not. When this happens prepare for a LOT of stupid acts by your party.

It is a good thing that you can save because you are saving EVERY 2 FIGHTS. If you don’t and think that the computer is being nice, you will be screwed and have to play the last 45 minutes of game play over again. The person who programmed the save also needs to be shot. I have never saved over so many games accidently in my life until this game. If you are not careful it will save over a spot in the game that you might want to come back to instead of saving it in the file you just saved the game in 30 seconds ago. The Last Remnant also does that when loading your last save because you just got hosed by a single level one mob.

SO FAR

If it were not for all the time I have already spent on this game it would have been dropped already and taken back to the store. This game gets a 1/10 stars and that’s just cause of all the good stuff mentioned earlier. DO NOT GET THIS GAME! If it were not for all the time I have spent on The Last Remnant so far, I would not finish it. It is not worth the $5 it will be in the bargain bin in a month.

UPDATE: PS3 VERSION

Hey I heard that the PS3 users are going to get some love from Square/Enix and get some of the games that were exclusive to the Xbox. Seriously, you guys have suffered enough with all the crap that people give you about owning the PS3 but, for the love of all that is holy: I will respect no person that buys this game after reading the review.

This game should have this posted on it: ANNOUNCEMENT!!! PS3 users: Do not under any circumstance taint your system by allowing this game to load onto your PS3. Enix decided to send all the crappy games to the Xbox and your system knows this and will crash on you if you are stupid enough to load this game. Your TV will burn out right after your warranty ends, and any system you start up will ask for you to grow a pair before playing any game. you have been warned. Really anyone attempting to buy that huge piece of shit after reading the review deserves sledgehammer to the crotch.