Well look, ANOTHER reboot. And… just…
10 seconds into the trailer and we’ve already got soldiers. And the rest of the trailer… Call it whatever the fuck you want. It can be GI Joe III Revenge of the return of cobra but NOTHING about the trailer spells “mummy”.
Is this a joke? Because this entire thing looks like a joke. It looks like a big joke scripted by SNL. Explosions, terrorists, CGI fuckfests, gunshots and more “Mr President, we’re fucked”; this has GOT to be a joke.
I’d rather go watch Tomb of the Dragon Emperor in 3D on IMAX. (And I’m dead fucking serious. I’d rather watch that atrocity than this abomination)
"The universe is one big joke, and the joke is on us"
Ah yes, Universal’s second attempt to reboot the Universal Monsters into a MARVEL-esque cinematic universe cause their first attempt with Dracula Untold was so abysmal, they officially stated that THIS Mummy reboot will kick off it’s hared universe just like how all studios are doing with cinematic universes!
"The world is merciless and it's also very beautiful."
Is there anything we can do to stop reboots? Maybe we should get porn sites to do XXX rated version of everything that is trying to be rebooted and get that to be the top search result on Google? Can we get the internet on mass to make up fake retro IPs and try to get them rebooted so it will technically be a new IP?
"Now, I’ve forgiven the world and myself, too. I teach myself to smile again. One day I’ll get there, I know I will. Even if it takes me not nine, but nine hundred lives." -Susan Ashworth from The Cat Lady
I’m confused. Why does Universal think that rebooting the Universal Monsters (some of which were adapted from books like Frankenstein and Dracula) as a MARVEL-esque cinematic universe is a good idea? Makes no sense to me.
Wouldn’t it be wiser to use these characters to make a series of medium budget horror films in which they hire talented horror filmmakers and allow them to bring their vision to life (you know, how the original incarnation of the Universal Monsters became a success in the first place considering that Frankenstein (1931) and Dracula (1931) deviate quite a bit from the source material). And maybe have them loosely connected in a common mythos, not to set up crossovers but rather to do something like say a movie series equivalent of Tales of the Crypt. In fact considering that area is a void waiting to be filled, Universal could have found quite some success in doing a series of medium budgeted monster horror films while allowing filmmakers to be able to experiment with the genre and characters. In fact 2015’s Krampus could have been a good start for said series.
This… This just looks like another Tom Cruise vehicle. In fact considering the casting choices Universal has already made for “future films” such as Johnny Depp as the Invisible Man, Angelina Jolie as the bride of Frankenstein, and Dwayne Johnson as The Wolfman (not making that up, they are going to get “The Rock” to play a werewolf), this whole “Dark Universe” (which was supposed to be the name of that Justice League Dark movie Warner/DC were trying to make) just sounds like one big glorified celebrity vehicle. Universal is already greenlit all these movies for this so-called shared universe even though The Mummy (2017) is only expected to open with $35-40 million domestically and this summer has been predicted by analysts to be continuing the downward trend of declining box office prowess.
You know what, I hope this movie tanks hard. Especially if this is what Universal was wanting to do with Guillermo Del Toro’s At The Mountains of Madness project.
Well it looks like things aren’t looking good for Universal’s ‘Dark Universe’
Well, well, well………………………………………
Inside ‘The Mummy’s’ Troubles: Tom Cruise Had Excessive Control (EXCLUSIVE)
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